Taylor Kemp got you pregnant, you just didn't know it.

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Hey, remember in the midst of D.C. United's win over Real Salt Lake, Taylor Kemp did a kind of impression of Roberto Carlos, no? Well, go watch this:

When that happened, I said this, after sitting back down after 30 seconds (and many utterances of the phrase 'Holy Shit!')

But hey, let's watch this goal again:

Here's a Vine of that angle:

Here are some reactions, from peer and admirer alike:

Obviously, if there is a just and righteous God, we will cease any voting for Goal of the Week now. And if there is voting, anyone with any form of intellectual honesty is going to vote for Taylor Kemp for it. As it stands, all we have are the 17,000 immaculate conceptions that occurred Saturday night.

So, do you have a favorite angle of the goal that was not included? How did you feel when Taylor Kemp got you pregnant with that goal? Was it as good as you'd hoped it would be? Will you be raising the child to take its father's place?