You, as a DC fan, are presented, game show style, with four doors.

By some miracle, the staff of the game show lets you see who is behind three of the doors that you're to choose from. After a moment of moral crisis, you decide to pick the best option available.

Behind door number 1 is Nigel de Jong, a supremely gifted defensive midfielder, who might or might not be the anti-christ.

Behind door number 2 is Freddy Adu, journeyman former US and DC United child star, who has not aged well, and can't even find a regular starting spot in NASL.

Behind door number 3 is a Bengal Tiger. You're not sure why you should pick a Bengal Tiger to play on the team, but, after unplanned eye contact with it, you find it to be playful and not a ton of moveable murder.

And behind door number 4 is somebody you can't see. A crazy ????? box.

The game show is called "Which horrible thing would you like your club to sign?"

Answer, in the comment section. And, bear in mind, the mystery box could be anyone. Messi. Khal Drogo. An actual traffic cone, Christian Pulisic.

And, let's play the game. GO!!!!