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DC United lose 4-0, embarass coach in front of former team

Even the return of Troy Perkins couldn't help United keep the ball out of the net. Photo via washingtonpost.com

So I guess the preseason doesn't actually mean all that much?

DC United fell to the Kansas City Wizards 4-0 and suffered their worst league loss since the Eastern Conference semifinals in 2005.

There was not a damn thing that was attractive about this game for United.  Their best scoring chance of the match came just 5 minutes in (of course off the foot of Moreno).  The midfield was absent for much of the 90 minutes.  And the defense...  I've got too many words to choose from for that defense.  Awful.  Disgraceful.  Reprehensible.  BAD!

Being the only blogger in the country that actually picked DC to win the MLS Cup, you would think that I would be able to find at least one reason to be optimistic though right?

Well yeah.  Actually I've got three:

1. The defense will improve.  I mean at least it can't possibly get worse!  Defensively, this looked nothing like how great we were playing the preseason.  There's a reason for that.  Wallace-Jakovic-Talley-Simms is far from our best backline.  The arrival of Juan Manuel Pena will do wonders for this defense.  And Dejan Jakovic will look like a much better player with Pena next to him.  Also, Clyde Simms hasn't played right back in years (and didn't play there once even during the preseason), and Julius James has never played there for us.  Look for Devon McTavish to start at right back next week if he's healthy and look much more comfortable.

2. That field was really small!  And a small field doesn't fit our possession oriented style very well.  United adapted by taking a more direct approach, but it didn't suit them well, and they just looked lost for the entire first half.  If only we'd hired a head coach who was more familiar with that field.  Oh wait...

3. Onalfo tried to get cute.  I don't know why, but for some reason Curt Onalfo thought that this would be a good match to experiment?  Usually I would think that playing a road match against an opponent with several new players who you've never seen before would be a good time to be fairly conservative with your lineup.  Onalfo, on the other hand, thought it would be a good time to give a 17-year old kid his first league start, and play one of the most consistent central defensive midfielders in MLS out of position.  Huh?  Don't do that again please Curt!

Player ratings after the break.

Star-divide

I'm doing something different this year because I don't think vodka bottles are quite as appropriate for a nationally renowned blog network (although vodka is certainly appropriate to consume tonight).  So my new player rating system will grade United players on a scale from 1 to 5 for their contributions in this match.  Not every player is graded because I only grade players who made significant positive or negative contributions.

The sophomores continued their good form from last year.  I was shocked that Rodney Wallace looked to be the best defender on the backline, despite this being his first professional start in that position.  He probably could have done better to shut down the cross on the third goal, but he didn't totally embarass himself, which is more than I can say about every other United defender.  Chris Pontius also should be commended for his hard work throughout this match.  He became more involved when moved back into a right midfield role in the second half, so I wouldn't be surprised to see him playing there a bit more often.

I can see where some fans might have wanted to rate Troy Perkins higher since he did have several nice saves.  But 4 goals?  No, that's not cool.  I won't fault him specifically on any goal, but he could have done better to hold onto those rebounds.

Newly acquired teenager Andy Najar had a couple of positive moments in his first match, including a long drooping shot that forced a fingertip save and almost led to a Chris Pontius goal were he not offside.  But Najar failed to get involved often enough defensively.  He was nowhere to be found on the second goal and it was scored by a runner on his side of the field.

Also in his first match with DC United, Christian Castillo didn't do very much to justify his being our only high profile international signing this offseason.  I thought he spent just a little bit too much time on the ground.  That's not our style of play here in DC.

The only times that we saw Kurt Morsink getting involved was when he was fouling the opposition.  There's a big dropoff from Simms to Morsink in terms of ball possession, and I think that's where we really lost this one.  Even DiRaimondo could have done better.

And how about that whole entire defensive group?  Clyde Simms looked totally out of place on the right side of the backline (and that's because he WAS out of place).  As much as I was worried about Simms once I saw his injury, at the same time I was hoping that Julius James would be an upgrade, but that turned out to be dead wrong.  James was very much at fault on the second goal, and he should have to explain to his coaches why it was a good idea for three players to stand on top of Ryan Smith while Davy Arnaud was able to run free.  That was your man James!

The center backs were even worse.  Dejan Jakovic was erratic, and should not  be giving up a handball in the box on a corner kick.  And it was Carey Talley's giveaway in the 6th minute that led to the Wizards' first goal.  We shouldn't have been surprised to see communication issues at the back, considering that Talley and Jakovic probably shook hands for the first time this morning.  But whose idea was it to start a player who had just  been signed by the club yesterday?  That would be coach Curt Onalfo, and one of his many poor choices for this match.

Well hopefully next week I'll get to show you my new player rating banners for 4 and 5 ratings.  Because it wasn't going to happen after this game.  On to the next one.  Let's all remember that there are 29 games remaining in the season.  And a 4-goal loss doesn't affect us too much more than a 1-goal loss in the grand scheme of things.

But there is one thing I know for sure.

It takes a whole fuckin lot more.

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Comments

Display:

Spot on with the recap

Like you mentioned with the defense, I think the entire team suffered from a lack of cohesiveness. I don’t know how the preseason played out (other than the defense being solid as mentioned by the KC broadcast), but tonight’s game looked like 11 guys that had never played together before. Other than the early opportunities from Moreno and Najar, there was zero offense to speak of. They were horribly out-possessed throughout the game, and KC’s speed on the wings was way too much for our outside backs and mids. Perkins was left out to dry in net. Rebound control was a bit of an issue, but there were some pretty slick conditions out there for him. At least there’s nowhere to go but up now.

Detroit4Lyfe

by handsomerob1 on Mar 28, 2025 2:12 AM EDT reply actions  

So this was as painful as the recap looked?

To be fair, I suppose you can’t lose a match if you never show up for it in the first place - but given I didn’t show up for the match either, getting bombed to this tune just seems like a bad omen.

Simulated Gameday Experience - just like the real thing, only we have smoke machines.

by Chris Pendley on Mar 28, 2025 10:17 AM EDT reply actions  

Yeah, it was pretty bad

Hopefully they got it out of their system. We won’t beat anyone playing like that.

Detroit4Lyfe

by handsomerob1 on Mar 28, 2025 11:54 AM EDT up reply actions  

Um... It starts now?

Another excellent use of the team’s slogan. I almost feel fortunate that the stupid MLSSoccer web site thought that the game should be blacked out so that I couldn’t watch it.

Getting my money back now.

by BrunoReturns on Mar 28, 2025 10:29 AM EDT reply actions  

Well, piss

How am I supposed to talk shit to Sounders fans now?

by Brendanukkah on Mar 28, 2025 10:30 AM EDT reply actions  

They had one good game. We had one bad game. There are 29 more games to go. Things will come around.

by Martin Shatzer on Mar 28, 2025 11:20 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions  

Thanks for talking me off the ledge

But seriously, that was a BAD game.

by Brendanukkah on Mar 28, 2025 11:45 AM EDT up reply actions  

BAD...

More like Pathetic and Painful!

But there are 29 more games left. Just would have been nice to start the season on a high note.

Ski-U-Mah!

by CrazyCollegian on Mar 28, 2025 12:00 PM EDT up reply actions  

Ouch...ugh...

Was at Molly Malones, a room full of drunk and pissed (interestingly synonyms in British English) but loyal supporters.
Observations
- I’ve played on bigger pitches in rec leagues
-
No matter how good we end up being in the year, we always seem to stink up the first game on the road to some middling mid-west team
- Not happy to see the roster tweaking by Onalfo… hopefully this isn’t Tommy part 2
-
Would be really terrible if one of the more technically gifted SB nation members did a massive DOS attack on this “now buy” site that is spamming a great blog
- We should get rid of the away white jerseys and just always insist on playing in black- gives us more mojo
— Games like this make victory all the sweeter… Vamos United!!

by Irrlicht on Mar 28, 2025 10:44 AM EDT reply actions  

Lines...

Sorry about the distracting lines, please ignore them like a Seattle supporter

by Irrlicht on Mar 28, 2025 10:45 AM EDT reply actions  

It wasn't the field...

Given that we had a coach who had some experience and insight about how to play on that field against that team, we should have been more prepared. I have no doubt our back line will improve, but start praying for our midfield - it’s not very good and is not likely to get much better and Party Boy and the Old Guy can’t do much without decent service and support.

by Didier Thys on Mar 28, 2025 11:44 AM EDT reply actions  

Good point. I think I’m more worried about our coach than I am about our defense. Just have to hope that he’ll learn from his mistakes.

by Martin Shatzer on Mar 28, 2025 12:34 PM EDT up reply actions  

Ha

The coach didn’t let players run right by him - it was your 3-man porous backline. Your players suck, your coaches suck, and your organization is one big hole of suck.

by szazzy on Mar 29, 2025 4:54 AM EDT up reply actions  

Our organization has won 12 trophies.

Don’t worry. Once somebody tells our players that the season has actually started, we will be back.

by Martin Shatzer on Mar 29, 2025 8:11 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions   1 recs

3-man back line?

Way to watch the game slick.

Detroit4Lyfe

by handsomerob1 on Mar 29, 2025 12:01 PM EDT up reply actions  

What I like about your comments

I how you lay out your argument like an intelligent human being. I hadn’t thought about it that way. very convincing. I guess we’ll have to take those constructive, intelligent comments and really think about how they can help out team. Thanks for stopping by and showing us why we are the best fans and everyone else is just stoopid!

by monk81 on Mar 29, 2025 4:34 PM EDT up reply actions  

Wow

Gotta love troll logic.

Ski-U-Mah!

by CrazyCollegian on Mar 29, 2025 11:53 PM EDT up reply actions  

“Highlights” here, for the non-squeamish.

Detroit4Lyfe

by handsomerob1 on Mar 28, 2025 11:58 AM EDT reply actions  

Love the pictures associated with the ratings, though who’s Two?

"I know I was the best CIA agent the CIA ever had, but I thought I told you honkies from the CIA that Black Dynamite was out of the game!"

by Bald Pollack on Mar 29, 2025 8:11 AM EDT reply actions  

David Stokes

I hope we play better this week, because you guys are gonna love the picture for Four

by Martin Shatzer on Mar 29, 2025 8:15 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions  

Damn, almost blacked him out. Thanks.

"I know I was the best CIA agent the CIA ever had, but I thought I told you honkies from the CIA that Black Dynamite was out of the game!"

by Bald Pollack on Mar 29, 2025 1:41 PM EDT up reply actions  

WOW!

That was about as bad as it gets. Every year, we look for our identity and I didn’t see any aspect to build from. The defense was awful. The midfield was beaten up and down the field. They couldn’t string passes together unless they were passing back. And the forwards couldn’t do anything since they rarely had the ball.
The silver lining: It can’t get much worse. This Saturday, we’ll be back on our field with all of our fans cheering them on no matter what. And I will be one of them. Vamos United

by monk81 on Mar 29, 2025 10:33 AM EDT reply actions  

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