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MLS Week 3 Roundup: Top teams falter in Rivalry Week, presumed bottom feeders step up

In which we look around Major League Soccer and ask, "What the hell is goin' on out here??"

Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

For two out of three weeks now, the 2013 Major League Soccer season has left us asking, "Huh?" Defending champs drawn by the laughingstock of the league. The team that lost to that laughingstock last week suddenly defeating a team some have tabbed to win their conference and the Supporters' Shield. Historically high-scoring rivalries on both coasts saw low-scoring draws.

So let's have a look around, shall we? Look for the third installment of our Interactive Power Poll later today.

New York Red Bulls 0-0 D.C. United - The Metros dominated the attack, but the visiting Black-and-Red defense held firm, if only just. We've covered this one here at B&RU, but be sure to check out's coverage, which includes the (encouraging?) news that Ben Olsen and his players aren't happy with the failure of the attack to do much of anything so far this season, even if they aren't hitting the panic button quite yet.

Sporting Kansas City 0-0 Chicago Fire - The second of two nationally-televised scoreless draws to kick off Rivalry Day on the NBC family of networks. Oops. The Sporks' attack isn't what many expected it to be at the start of the season, maintaining lots of possession but generating few chances from the run of play against a sturdy defense, and their fans are disappointed with the effort. Meanwhile, Fire fans are just happy to get their first result of the season.

Montreal Impact 2-1 Toronto FC - The second-year club from Quebec finds themselves on top of the league. Who saw that coming? See why their Ontarian neighbors think what should have been a classic game was ruined by - who else? - referee Baldomero Toledo.

Philadelphia Union 1-0 New England Revolution - The weather was gross. Danny Cruz may have carried D.C. United's concussion curse north to Philly, and the Revs were "virtually punchless."

Columbus Crew 1-1 San Jose Earthquakes - Something something Goonies something something.

Real Salt Lake 1-1 Colorado Rapids - Panic in SLC? Not quite, but the Royals aren't going to be happy about a draw with their Rocky Mountain Cup rivals that saw both sides waste good scoring chances. On the other side, Rapids fans were surprised by head coach Oscar Pareja's pragmatism, abandoning the possession game to grind out a tough road point.

Seattle Sounders 1-1 Portland Timbers - Obafemi Martin made his Sounders debut in the second half, and former D.C. United draft pick Rodney Wallace netted Portland's equalizer. Other than that, it was a pretty boring affair, though the Timbers find themselves optimistic about Caleb Porter's transition to a more possession-oriented system and the team's sticktoitiveness.

FC Dallas 3-2 Houston Dynamo - Five goals is going to get you called the game of the week on an otherwise very low-scoring matchday. Dallas fans are enjoying their rivalry win - complete with a big ass cannon - while the Dynamo are seething about Kenny Cooper's willingness to fall down and his uncalled hand ball on the game-winner.

LA Galaxy 1-1 Chivas USA - This was a weird one, which is only fitting in a game involving el Chelis. After a bizarre second yellow card saw Joaquin Velasquez sent off by Ricardo Salazar just before halftime, the Galaxy created chances and finally broke through until the last ten minutes of the game, only to concede six minutes later. The Galaxy are ruing allowing the 10-man Goats to take the initiative after the opening goal, and Chivas is counting their lucky stars.