So as you can tell, I'm running behind schedule, and there isn't much D.C. United news to report (you saw the Norwegian report concerning a potential United preseason game, I presume). Let's see what else we can talk about:
2015 MLS Year in Review: DC United | MLSsoccer.com
Pablo Maurer and Matt Doyle take a concise look back at the year that was for the Black-and-Red.
The USWNT is a soccer team, not a traveling circus. It's time for a fix | The Guardian
Beau Dure brings up Spinal Tap and The Simpsons in discussing the USWNT's victory tour without being unfair at all.
How to watch the last game of the USWNT Victory Tour | Stars and Stripes FC
Speaking of the victory tour, tonight's game against China is Abby Wambach's final professional game of any sort. Clear your schedule so you can watch at 8pm tonight.
Rebuilding the Rapids: Colorado Trades For Marco Pappa | Burgundy Wave
I've said before that United should try to bring in Pappa, but if he's not going to land here it's probably good for MLS that he ends up in Colorado. Anything at all that can make the Rapids a less obviously bad soccer team brings up the bottom of the league and could encourage Pablo Mastroeni to a) stop playing for 0-0 every week and b) field lineups that make some kind of sense.
That, or we'll be seeing Pappa play as a lone striker, or as a box-to-box central midfielder.
Galaxy land Dan Kennedy hope to keep Omar Gonzalez | Los Angeles Times
Missing commas aside, this is a good breakdown of the situation in LA. The Galaxy can't just use TAM to get Omar Gonzalez on their 2016 roster, meaning that if he doesn't sign a new contract that cuts nearly $200,000 off his salary he's going to have to be sold. Also, LA is apparently not going to sell Gyasi Zardes, which is crazy.
Fire officials pursuing Timbers midfielder Johnson | Daily Herald
So about the "Will Johnson to DC" rumor (which, as a reminder, was kicked off by a speculative tweet that made sense rather than by word that United was actually pursuing the Canadian international)...looks like it isn't happening. Personally I'm fine with it. Johnson didn't impress after returning from a broken leg, and in any case I'm not a particularly big fan of his overly antagonistic way of interacting with his opponents. United should be aiming higher.
As for how he'd do in Chicago and TFC, I think the FIre should be interested in any capable MLS player after finishing in last place. Toronto only makes sense if the Reds want to play a diamond full-time given that Michael Bradley and Benoit Cheyrou are already in place.
UEFA Champions League Round of 16 draw results | SBNation.com
The UEFA Champions League draw for the knockout round took place yesterday. What's worth noting? All 3 English clubs could well end up eliminated before the quarterfinals, for one. Arsenal unluckily ended up against Bayern, while I personally expect Man City to get knocked out by Juventus. Chelsea got a good draw, facing Dynamo Kyiv, but Chelsea is looking at a fight against relegation right now.
Elsewhere, the quarterfinals will contain two from PSV, VfL Wolfsburg, Zenit St. Petersburg, and KAA Gent.
The Home | The Awl
The internet is good at mashing things up. Here, the movie "Home Alone" is re-imagined as a Cormac McCarthy short story.
Enjoy your unseasonably warm Wednesday!