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Yesterday, I come to work, first day, a new year, optimism, I walk in, and who greets me in the...

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Yesterday, I come to work, first day, a new year, optimism, I walk in, and who greets me in the hallway? A cockroach, the biggest one I've ever seen. He wasn't moving for me. He looked me dead in the eyes and was like, 'Look, I am not moving.' So I said, 'Good morning, Happy New Year,' and walked by. He tipped his hat to me. He was hung over from New Year's. He had the little horn in his mouth and the party hat.

Ben Olsen [via Goff]