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Car Trunks, Smashed Crystal, and Sex Tapes: DC United & Sundry Soccer Links for 20 November 2015

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A little analysis of this weekend's conference finals, paired up with a nice glass of sex tape.

Your Friday Freedom Kicks are made with mostly real fruit flavors.

MLS final four opt for prudent personnel over big spending - ESPN FC:  None of the final four MLS teams are among the top five spenders in the League.

MLS playoffs 2015: How FC Dallas can advance - Big D Soccer:  Our sister blog in Dallas is worried about Darlington Nagbe and wants to keep him back.

Filling the Gaps: Diego Valeri and Rodney Wallace - Stumptown Footy:  Our other sister blog in Portland is expecting Darlington Nagbe not to stay back.

Caleb Porter's 2013 MLS Coach of the Year trophy no longer exists | MLSsoccer.com:  We now know the Tiffany crystal MLS Coach of the Year trophy costs $800 to replace, and Caleb Porter ain't forking it over.

Seattle Sounders' Sigi Schmid was once smuggled into Estadio Azteca in trunk of car | MLSsoccer.com:  Try doing that in the age of ISIS.

Gerrard "Will Go Back to LA" Following MLS Offseason - The Liverpool Offside:  So that settles that.

Soccer in St. Louis: history, tradition, fans, but no MLS team - The Blue Testament:  I think there's at least one St. Louis-based member of the Commentariat, so this one's for you.

Impact Of Foreign Players In European Leagues – EPL : Goalden Times:  The decline of English players in the EPL, with charts and stuff.

A Culture of Violence - The Politics of Serbian Football Hooliganism - Futbolgrad:  Just what you need to pass that dead time at work between 2 and 2:30 today.

Your Guide To The Craziest Sports Scandal You Aren't Paying Attention To - Deadspin:  This will get you up to speed on that sordid sex tape scandal at Real Madrid, if you need a primer.

And your Friday Freedom Kicks link is Why You Should Tell Your Coworkers Your Salary.

Commentariat, modulate!