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To Infinity and Detroit: D.C. United & Sundry Soccer Links for 15 April 2016

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Physicists conducting controversial experiments have discovered that, like the universe, MLS is forever expanding. (Resistance is futile, also.)

Peter Macdiarmid/Getty Images

Friday Freedom Kicks is not intended to diagnose, treat, or cure any disease.

Black and red united meetup tailgate - B&RU's Facebook Page: It's B&RU meetup tailgate eve. So this is your final reminder. Get schloshed with The Commentariat in Lot 8 before tomorrow's match.

MLS Preview and Prediction: D.C. United vs. Toronto F.C. - MLSGB: The MLS-crazed bloggers on the other side of the pond predict a 1-1 result tomorrow. I predict D.C. United wins two in a row.

Detroit Mentioned As Possible City For MLS Expansion " CBS Detroit: Name a city that hasn't been mentioned as a possible city for MLS expansion. Try. You can't.

Don Garber 'hopes' Sacramento Republic join MLS expansion - ESPN FC: Garber suggests Sacramento will be in the League by 2020. 2020? Look at that year. 2020. Won't we be flying around on hoverboards and teleporting to our Martian vacation homes by then?

MLS to ban Nigel de Jong for Darlington Nagbe tackle- Garber - ESPN FC: Bruce Arena is super mad about how all of us have been treating Nigel de Jong. Nigel de Jong is the real victim here. Bruce Arena is the real victim here.

Crew is back home but without Sauro - SoccerAmerica: The Crew can't score, and now their star defender is injured. How soon can we play them?

Despite Roster Shakeup, Red Bulls Still 'Not Good Enough' - Empire of Soccer: Jesse Marsch has started experimenting with new lineups to see if something catches for the Red Bulls.

Principal: Vicious Pine Forest soccer hit is a 'teachable moment' :WRAL.com: Bruce Arena is the real victim here.

Holy crap, I just remembered it's Tax Day. (Except not really, thanks to the Commentariat.)

And your Friday Freedom Kicks treat is Existential Comics.

Commentariat, alienate!