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Arsene Wenger Out (for real), Portland Thorns vs. Washington Spirit, and more: Freedom Kicks for 4/20/2018

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A little D.C. United news, and as always we trash Felipe (who sucks)

I don’t have a good intro for you today. If the fact that it’s 4/20 means something special to you, make sure you have a ride and plenty of snacks on hand.

Let’s start with some D.C. United history. Ulises Segura’s goal from Saturday joins strikes from Jaime Moreno and Chris Pontius among the team’s fastest-ever goals. That’s good company!

LAFC’s Memorial Day weekend game vs. D.C. United moved again, to May 26 | Angels On Parade
For many of you, this game being at 10pm on a Saturday is more convenient than it being at 11pm on a Tuesday. But since it’s already been moved twice, I say don’t count it as locked in until the team flies out.

As new SE arena’s future takes shape, Events DC hangs up a ‘now hiring’ sign | WTOP
The first event being held at the new basketball arena on the campus of St. Elizabeth’s is a Red Bull-sponsored video game tournament, which feels like an attempt from Events DC to troll United.

Storylines: Portland Thorns vs Washington Spirit | Stumptown Footy
Here’s a preview of tonight’s game for the Spirit, who are on the other side of the country to take on the Portland Thorns FC tonight.

Here’s your injury report. Note that Mallory Pugh, who left last week’s loss with a hamstring issue, isn’t on the list:

Coach’s Corner: Jim Gabarra, Spirit focused on attacking in transition | WashingtonSpirit.com
If the Washington Spirit are going to win tonight, it’s going to take their best performance of the season (particularly in terms of defensive shape).

Thorns FC set to face revamped Washington Spirit at Providence Park Friday | Timbers.com/ThornsFC
Richard Farley provides some context about the talented but very young Spirit for a Portland audience. Worth noting: Tobin Heath is supposedly going to get some minutes tonight for the first time this year.

Brasil vence a Argentina y se acerca a un nuevo titulo | CAFemChile2018.cl
Estefania Banini and Argentina lost 3-0 to Brazil yesterday in the final round of the Copa America Femenina (which is also World Cup and Olympic qualifying for CONMEBOL). A 0-0 draw in the other game between Yanara Aedo’s Chile and Colombia means that Banini and Aedo’s teams are more or less playing off for one automatic qualification spot on Sunday.

A win would send Argentina to the World Cup regardless of the outcome of Brazil vs. Colombia; a draw would open the possibility of Colombia jumping ahead of Argentina if they can beat Brazil. If Chile wins, both teams would be all-in on Brazil avoiding defeat against Colombia. Whoever finishes in 3rd place in the four-team group will go into a playoff with the 4th place team from CONCACAF’s qualifying tournament in October.

‘Nothing will hold you back’: Canadian international looks to make men’s team | The Short Pass
Former Spirit GK Stephanie Labbe’s tryout with Calgary Foothills FC of the PDL is still going, as she helped the team to a shutout win over the University of Lethbridge.

The Fernando Torres to MLS rumor mill carries on, and this one makes more sense than him signing with a Chicago Fire team that already has an elite, seven-figure-salary #9:

If you haven’t seen the Impact, their best play this season has been in a 532 that contains no actual forwards in an effort to get their best 11 players on the field, so they could probably use a forward.

San Jose Earthquakes defender Harold Cummings suspended additional game | MLSsoccer.com
Felipe got fined for his pathetic injury-feigning last weekend. He’s garbage.

Sporting KC v Vancouver Whitecaps: Preview, Predictions, Injuries & Starting XI | The Blue Testament
Match Preview: Vancouver Whitecaps vs. Sporting Kansas City | Eighty Six Forever
Previewing tonight’s MLS match, which is an extreme contrast in styles. Sporting Kansas City’s high press will face the Vancouver Whitecaps, who are mostly interested in long balls and defensive midfielders.

Precourt, MLS file for dismissal of ‘Art Modell Law’ suit | Austin American-Statesman
80s movie villain Anthony Precourt and MLS are contending that Ohio’s “Art Modell Law” does not apply to their situation. Said law has apparently never been tested in court, so it’s hard to say how this will go.

Arsene Wenger: Arsenal boss to leave club at end of season | BBC
If I’m being honest, #WengerOut has been boring as a meme pretty much the whole time it’s been going on, so for me I’m just glad it’s over.

For the many, many Arsenal fans out there, you may have more complicated feelings about this.

Premier League winter break: How it could work and when it would be | ESPNFC
Years after they should have, the Premier League might institute a winter break instead of grinding their players into dust and then wondering why they come up short in Europe every year.

If you have the means, former UMBC player and Maryland native Kay Banjo’s family is going through a tough time after a house fire and could use some help: