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Monday Freedom Kicks: Bull-dozed

Recaps galore, check out the Residency Program, cheese on Old Bay and the Dick Joke algorithm.

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Oh well, such is life. Still in first, so all you haters and whatnot.

Recaps of D.C. United 2-2 New York Red Bulls from us (and more from us here), MLS Soccer, Washington Post, CSN Washington, CSN Washington,, Unitedmania, Ives, District Sports Page and ProSoccerTalk. On the Jerz side of things, Once A Metro and Empire of Soccer have things covered.

D.C. United Academy Residency Program - Open House: Got an aspiring youth player (or perhaps are curious how D.C. will handle their residency program) and have a Monday morning to spare? You're in luck.

Redskin, United legends share favorite RFK memory | Comcast SportsNet Washington: former Washington Redskin Brian Mitchell interviews Ben Olsen to talk about the Metro match ahead of the game last week and each share thoughts about RFK Stadium in general.

Sunderland 1-4 Crystal Palace: Spineless Sunderland Embarrassed Again - Roker Report: In partner news, Connor Wickham scored, however it was following 4 Crystal Palace goals and numerous fan tirades, leaving Sunderland three points out of relegation. At least the food exchange went well, er, what the good Christ is this?

Ghana News - "Kotoko boys love too much porn!": Asante Kotoko SC play in Ghana's Premier League and were eliminated in Africa's Champions League competition last Sunday, and some interesting things were blamed for the loss. Kotoko is ALSO a partner club of Sunderland, and I wonder what type of exchange is going on there.

Hellas Verona 0-3 Inter Milan: That's more like it - The Offside Inter Milan: In more partner club news, Inter Milan remain in tenth despite their convincing win over Hellas Verona. Goals from Mauro Icardi, Rodrigo Palacio and an own goal helped Inter out.

USWNT defender Ali Krieger stretchered off with head injury - Planet Futbol - In NWSL news, Washington Spirit player Ali Krieger suffered a concussion in Friday's loss to the Houston Dash. Protocols are being followed and health appears to be improving. Rest safe and well Cap.

Front-runners emerging in Hawks ownership bid | Jason Levien and Erick Thohir continue to be linked to rumors on buying the NBA's Atlanta Hawks. Keeping an eye on it just to remind you.

Ottawa Fury Player Attacked During Flight To Atlanta: Scary moment from the NASL side when they traveled to Atlanta over the weekend.

Last season, Lamar Neagle of the Sounders suddenly realized the importance of a family | The Seattle Times: Remember when Lamar Neagle mysteriously missed the playoff game for the Seattle Sounders against the Los Angeles Galaxy? The reason why is now public.

WATCH: Hometown hero? New Philadelphia Union 'keeper's emotional postgame interview | SIDELINE | John McCarthy was in goal for the Union as they beat New York City FC Saturday, but it was his postgame interview which is pretty great and worth watching.

The Oral History Of Silicon Valley’s Sophisticated Dick Joke: Mike Judge's tech-centered HBO comedy with Kumail Nanjani and TJ Miller premiered its second season last night (and if you aren't keeping the dial set after Game of Thrones, rectify that), and their Season One finale gag gets the oral history treatment. For those new to the show or the joke, the scene is here, and if you're going to scream about NSFW language after seeing a link about the oral history of a dick joke, just punch yourself in the face.

It's Monday, let's be careful out there.