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Twitter links Carlos Ruiz to D.C. United; fans everywhere recoil in horror

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Vague Twitter rumors have linked El Pescadito to D.C. United; the question is, would any fans want the team to sign him?

Chris Gardner

When I come home from work, I check all of my various outlets for rumors to see if anything has happened throughout the day. The weirdest thing that I saw was not the fact that the Seattle Sounders traded for Shalrie Joseph and that they will make him a designated player; no, the weirdest thing that I saw was rumors that Carlos Ruiz, El Pescadito himself, is linked with a move to D.C. United.

Now, obviously, this move is not going to happen for any number of reasons. First, Ruiz seems to have signed a contract with Municipal, one of the top teams in Guatemala, just last month. Another reason that this is completely impossible is the fact that Ruiz is the antithesis to everything that Ben Olsen extols as a head coach: he is a preening flopper who gets out of his contract when he does not like the way things are going at his team. There is also the question of salary and international spot calculus. If United could not fit a player like Jan Frederiksen on their team, there is no way that Ruiz will fit financially. Finally, where would Ruiz get any playing time? With Lionard Pajoy, Rafael Gladiador, Casey Townsend, Dwayne De Rosario, Raphael Augusto, Syamsir Alam, and Michael Seaton all looking for playing time at one of the two striker positions there is simply no room for a player like Ruiz.

The funniest comment, so far, comes from our very own Chest Rockwell: "Maybe Benny just wants to kick him every day." Just wanted to pass along something to lighten your mood at the end of the day.