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Cake or Death: Dwayne De Rosario's fate with D.C. United

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With the 2013 season finally, mercifully behind us, it's time to run through the D.C. United roster and determine who should stay and eat cake and who should leave the team and find inevitable death. We open the series with the captain, Dwayne De Rosario.

Mike DiNovo-USA TODAY Sports

Back in the days before Black and Red United was a thing, our founder Martin Shatzer ran a site called DCUMD, and one feature he trotted out there was something called "River or Life," an offseason exercise designed to figure out who D.C. United should bring back to start the next season. Today we launch a revamped version of that feature, "Cake or Death" - basically the same thing, but with more Izzard. Because after the year we've had, we need more Izzard. We start our new series today with Dwayne De Rosario.

He's the team captain and the leading scorer across all competitions. He's among the biggest reasons United made it to the US Open Cup Final, which of course they won. Just two seasons ago he was MLS MVP, but even with diminished stats this year, he's been among United's best performers (for better or, more likely, worse). But is that enough to want him back next year?

We know that he won't be making the DP salary he did this year, wherever he ends up, so assume that DeRo is willing to take the pay cut. And then just think about one question: Would you like De Rosario back for 2014? If so, then give him cake. Otherwise, death. Simple, right?

Vote in our poll, and tell us why you voted how you did in the comments.