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Are you pumped? Why are you not pumped? Watch this video - IT WILL GET YOU PUMPED! I'M SO PUMPED!

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D.C. United's new commercial for 2013 is out, and it will get you pumped. So pumped.

Know what's awesome? Getting pumped. Wanna get pumped? We got the stuff right here. It'll get you pumped. SUPER pumped.

What's that? No, man - the first hit's free. This is the stuff though - it'll get you pumped. Really, truly pumped.

Oh, you think you're already pumped? That's cute. You ain't pumped. Not yet. This right here, though? This will get you pumped. And I mean pumped. We're talking ripping a phonebook in half with your feet pumped. Tearing parking meters out of the ground and javelin-throwing them through abandoned rowhouse windows pumped.

Don't believe me? Try just a bit, you'll see. Seriously pumped.

I mean it. You think you know what pumped is right now. But you don't. You don't have any idea. Till now. You're about to see what being pumped is.

Because this video? Oh man, will it ever get you pumped.

The 2013 season is almost here, boys & girls. And I'm officially pumped.