Happy Wednesday, y’all. Yesterday was just stupid, wild, insane, you name it. There was other news in the world, but not for us. D.C. United dominated it all. Let’s recap it here:
The biggest news in the soccer world was Wayne Rooney announcing that he will leave D.C. United after the end of the season to return to England and play for Derby County. He will also be an assistant coach for them as well. The move will occur in January and it’s a free transfer. Questions? I have tons...do you? All I know is that this move is sudden and while it leaves a bad taste in my mouth, I don’t hold ill will towards Señor Wayne. He brought us some of the greatest moments in club history in just over a year. Let’s finish this one out right...*drinks a ton of whiskey.*
In a move that was rumored for a couple of days, former Columbus Crew and LA Galaxy striker Ola Kamara is about to join D.C. United after a $2.5 million transfer from China. Word is that his contract will be bought down via TAM so he won’t count as a Designated Player. He’ll be very useful down the stretch if he can replicate the scoring prowess he had in MLS.
Somehow, the Black-and-Red took all goodwill they may have had and threw it into the Potomac with the trade for Felipe Martins from the Vancouver Whitecaps. Let me throw it to Michael Scott for the perfect reaction (and length of said reaction):
There was another trade that happened today, as the Black-and-Red acquired Ema Boateng from the LA Galaxy. Could more be on the way before the transfer window ends tonight?
Boateng trained with the Galaxy today and said his goodbyes to teammates and staff this afternoon. He's on his way to D.C. https://t.co/T6Uc66oAJ7— Steven Goff (@SoccerInsider) August 6, 2019
Silly Season is straight up silly as all hell. Could Mesut Özil Mesut Ozil actually be headed to D.C.? Reports are that it could be happening where they would try to bring him in during the January transfer window. Özil’s agents are expected to meet with the team next week.
D.C. United acquired funny money from the Portland Timbers for other funny money.
We got more funny money from Minnesota United, and we gave them an international roster spot. Reactions are pretty much like:
Alright, there was other news from yesterday, but it didn’t matter. Also, the MLS transfer window ends today, so everyone should remember to breathe today. Now, hit the comments and watch the news roll in.