I don’t have an intro other than to complain about the rain. Let’s get to the things that happened to the teams and stuff.
MLS board of governors approves new look for D.C. United investment group | Washington Post
I doubt anyone is going to feel too bad about not seeing Erick Thohir involved any more, but plenty of folks were tempted by the idea of Patrick Soon-Shiong and his nearly bottomless pile of money (that’s how the wealthy keep their money, right? Like Scrooge McDuck?). Instead, it’ll be Jason Levien and his crew from Swansea City, the Memphis Grizzlies, and various other concerns.
That’s not all that weird. This is!
Top ten most edited Wikipedia articles from White House IP addresses: pic.twitter.com/iZWS2dXY5d
— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog) August 3, 2018
Branko Boskovic, aka Bodkin, aka The Luxury Player, aka the man behind Brankostock, is apparently very popular at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Him and Daniel Hernandez, who I once watched throw a (failed) punch at Jaime Moreno.
Backpass: Tearing apart eight seconds of football | Around MLS
Here’s a Rapids-centric look at Wayne Rooney’s first goal for United.
Jimmy Briand, Case Closed | Mount Royal Soccer
In case you missed it last week, the Montreal Impact announced the signing of former France international and Ligue 1 striker Jimmy Briand to solve their ongoing problems up top, only for the deal to fall through (with Montreal alleging that Briand demanded different terms after the fact). It’s a very Impact turn of events. Anyway, their coach Remi Garde tried to save the deal, but couldn’t make it happen.
USA 4, Brazil 1 at Tournament of Nations | Stars and Stripes FC
The USWNT fell behind early on a jailbreak counter, but eventually were well worth their 4-1 win. Rose Lavelle, who will hopefully be able to play some part for the Washington Spirit this weekend, scored the first goal:
We will absolutely accept this ! @roselavelle strikes it first-time and buries the equalizer for the #USWNT. pic.twitter.com/XeymRi10y4
— U.S. Soccer WNT (@ussoccer_wnt) August 3, 2018
In the end, Lavelle played the first 45 minutes, and looked sharp. Not just from a creative perspective, or a technical perspective (loved the early hip fake she sold 3 Brazilian players before feeding Tobin Heath, which almost caused the Brazilians to collide), but physically. Lavelle isn’t the fastest player, but she had a burst to get past markers all night.
However, you’ve got to give Megan Rapinoe credit for the best play of the night:
Moment of the match. #USWNT #USAvBRA #ToN2018 pic.twitter.com/iFCqlz9IlH
— Caitlin Murray (@caitlinmurr) August 3, 2018
Will Europe Start Buying Major League Soccer’s Stars? | New York Times
The answer to this headline is “yeah, as they’ve done for years” because you should never treat “Europe” as one league. But there’s a difference between sending Troy Perkins to Norway for a couple hundred grand and selling Alphonso Davies for 8 figures.
Orlando in discussions to trade Justin Meram back to Columbus | MLSsoccer.com
This is amazing. Orlando City mismanaged Justin Meram, their fans were horrible towards him, and they’re going to pay the price for it. We should hope the deal drags out for a few more days so they don’t have time to turn what GAM and TAM they get into anything in this window.
My mission to ruin a $250 Wagyu steak nearly destroyed my family | The Takeout
This is perverse, and I heartily approve.
That’s all I’ve got, but it’s Friday. Let’s close on a good note: Robyn hasn’t put out a full album in 8 years, hasn’t even released a new song since 2016, but on Wednesday she blessed us all with “Missing U.”