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Jose Mourinho walks out, Bastian Scwheinsteiger is a legend: Freedom Kicks for 8/28/18

Plus: RIP Ron Newman.

‘Sup friends, I’m at a conference today and still tired from yesterday’s conference sched so let’s get to this thing. (Also, why is sitting in rooms all day so tiring? This is dumb. But thanks, work, for the expensed Lyfts around town.)

Arielle Ship makes long-awaited return from ACL injury on historic night at Audi Field | Washington Spirit

Happy things! I wasn’t able to make the Spirit’s Audi Field game but I do hope they’ll do another one I can attend. Preferably a Spirit/DCU double header because yessss all soccer all the time.

BFW attends Bastian Schweinsteiger’s induction into the FC Bayern Hall of Fame | Bavarian Football Works

I’m just over here crying because I love Basti so much, don’t worry about it, it’s fine.

Schweinsteiger confident his Fire teammates will enjoy Bayern tribute match | MLS

*still crying*

‘He was an absolute joy.’ Ron Newman, first coach in Sporting KC history, dies | The Kansas City Star

The first coach hired by MLS, too. RIP.

The promotion-relegation debate isn’t dying down, so here’s how it could work in the United States | Yahoo! Sports

Imagine that I shared this with you by tossing it in your direction and then quickly taking off to somewhere far, far away.

Manchester United’s Jose Mourinho walks out on media, demanding ‘respect’ after loss | ESPNFC

The best way, of course, to earn respect is to simply demand it of people over and over again while exiting the room.

That’s all from me, folks, so drop anything else in the comments and try not to melt out there.