Over the last couple of days, I’ve gotten my old Football Manager 2012 (look, my old desktop computer struggled to run anything bigger before it died last month, RIP) save back up and running. AC Pisa, in the fake world I’ve created, is on course for a second straight season of qualifying for Europe, and we’re in the Coppa Italia final. I’ve also signed computer-generated 21 year old Mexican playmaker Alejandro Samario, who if he were real would have a legit shot at being the best Mexican player of all time, from Pumas on a free transfer.
I’m a lot more excited about this than I should be, but how can you not love a game that created a Jurgen Klinsmann doppelganger named “Vitus Kiefer” who I can insult from afar for no good reason? I’ve also called a press conference, as the coach of a team in Serie A, to criticize the Red Bulls. It’s the best. Plus, the only other material I had to intro this post was being stuck in traffic during hot weather and being stuck in a meeting that lasted over three hours, but could have been done in under 10 minutes. Fake video game soccer is much more entertaining.
Anyway, here are some links about real-life soccer:
D.C. United parts ways with Sebastien Le Toux | Black and Red United
Probably best for all parties. Le Toux isn’t going to get time here, and D.C. United couldn’t find an interested partner for a trade before the window closed. We’ll always have that game against Atlanta.
D.C. United isn’t done making roster changes | Washington Post
Steve Goff has more on the process that lead to Le Toux’s exit, and notes that Travis Worra will be suiting up for the Richmond Kickers on loan now that Steve Clark is in the fold.
Hackworth names 22-player roster for Vaclav Jezek Youth Tournament in Czech Republic | USsoccer.com
Chris Durkin is unsurprisingly in the squad for this prestigious under-17 tournament. Also, this is your reminder that US Soccer has kept John Hackworth in important coaching gigs for years despite plenty of evidence that we can and should do better.
Let’s get into cool stuff from the world of woso:
Carli Lloyd among FIFA Best 2017 candidates | Stars and Stripes FC
Carli Lloyd is on the final shortlist for FIFA’s player of the year award. I can’t say she really earned it on the field (no USWNT player is really excelling right now, and Lloyd hasn’t exactly lit up the NWSL), but name recognition goes a long way. As for possible winners, look out for Australia’s Samantha Kerr - currently in the NWSL MVP race - and Dutch duo Vivianne Miedema and Lieke Mertens, who have the advantage of winning Euro 2017, the biggest worldwide tournament.
Closer to home...
Look at us moving in TWO dimensions. Tearing up that x-axis on the side shuffles. Too much fun w @Pjsoubrier @aciarla @WashSpirit #Physics pic.twitter.com/h4JIt1dONj— Joanna Lohman (@JoannaLohman) August 17, 2017
...Washington Spirit midfielder and force of nature Joanna Lohman is making more progress in her ACL rehabilitation, and she’s still got a smile on her face.
Elsewhere, former Spirit and USWNT midfielder Lori Lindsey was part of the Equal Playing Field Initiative’s trip up Kilimanjaro to set the world record for the highest-altitude soccer game ever played. beIN Sports was along for the ride, putting together this hour-long documentary about the trip and the game itself.
Blade party to launch fifth-annual sports issue | Washington Blade
Lindsey will also be appearing at the Audi Field Preview Center to celebrate the Blade’s Sports Issue (which she will be guest editing). Admission is free, so if you need something to do Monday night, here you go.
Ola Kamara isn’t focused on a new contract, but on making the playoffs | Massive Report
Shortly after ESPNFC reported that talks between Kamara and Columbus Crew SC had broken down, Kamara told media in Columbus that he’s just focused on playing soccer. There have been numerous links with him moving abroad from the moment he started scoring goals in MLS, though, so this may be the smoke before the fire. We’ll see.
Storylines: Portland Timbers vs New York Red Bulls | Stumptown Footy
The Portland Timbers host the dastardly and loathsome New York Red Bulls tonight at 10pm on Fox Sports 1. Here, get yourself up to speed on all the angles.
John Brooks ruled out for at least three months with a thigh injury | Stars and Stripes FC
The oft-injured USMNT starter will miss three months (i.e. the rest of World Cup qualifying) after tearing tendons in his thigh on his competitive debut for Wolfsburg. It’s bad timing all around. The United States faces Costa Rica in just 14 days, believe it or not.
Adult Swim debuts new single “True Lightyears” from KMD, Jay Electronica, and DOOM. New KMD album coming soon | GasDrawls.com
DOOM’s erratic release schedule and the mysteries of what constitutes a DOOM song and what is KMD, or one of his various identities, is all part of the journey of being a fan of DOOM. Best not to ask questions and just be glad he’s putting new stuff out.