US Soccer Buffoonery: D.C. United & Sundry Soccer Links for 5 February 2016

You shouldn't have any secrets from me. You should tell me everything. Why, Lisa, why? At least talk to me, please!

Oh, hi.

D.C. United Reportedly Planning to File Tampering Charges Against Orlando City in Antonio Nocerino Saga - The Mane Land: B&RU hit on this late yesterday after WaPo broke the story. Here's the take from our sister blog with the big mouse ears.

Adidas botches D.C. United's new political statement jerseys - Washington Post: Again, B&RU noted this snafu earlier this week. Basically, our collars are written in Yoda.

Here’s what’s changing about championship stars on MLS jerseys this year | MLSsoccer.com: Somebody spent a lot of time figuring this star system out.

USWNT players livid, have personal info redacted from lawsuit | SI.com: It's unsurprising that US Soccer bosses would carelessly endanger the privacy and safety of USWNT players. After all, the whole point of this gratuitously aggressive lawsuit is to squeeze the women at the bargaining table. US Soccer doesn't have the players' interests in mind. So, this is unsurprising but still shameful.

US Soccer and USWNT players move forward with negotiations despite lawsuit | FOX Sports: I kind of hope they strike.

What can USMNT expect from Canada? | FOX Sports: Here's some preview of tonight's men's game versus Canada.

Tim Howard Brad Guzan dilemma for Jurgen Klinsmann USMNT - ESPN FC: Get better soon, Bill.

MLS Preseason Tracker: February 4 | MLSsoccer.com: The Red Bulls are looking deadly, even though the soft underbelly of their Miazgaless defense lays exposed.

MLS looking at downtown St. Louis for possible stadium site, expansion team | FOX2now.com: Of all the cities on the list of potential expansions, St. Louis will always be my favorite.

Inside the MLS CBA numbers: Player salaries, team bonuses, more | SI.com: The MLS Players Union published the entire collective bargaining agreement on its website yesterday. SI lists some informative nuggets.

Soccer Dog is WAY too good at juggling for a canine - SBNation.com: Woof.

Crowd goes wild when special needs teen scores winning soccer goal - USA Today: Nice shot.

And your Friday Freedom Kicks treat is This Daddy Longlegs Trapped in Amber is Having a 'Hard' Time.

Commentariat, you are tearing me apart, Lisa!