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The Great White Horror: DC United & Sundry Soccer Links for 22 January 2016

Abandon all hope.

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If the meteorologists are right, this Freedom Kicks will be the Commentariat's only respite from the Great White Horror to befall us over the next 36+ hours. Charge your iPhones if you want to stay in touch with the Black and Red masses because, chances are, you'll soon be without power. And no use going to the grocery store at this late stage, brothers and sisters. The shelves are bare. In fact, old Touchline's wife asked him to pick up some 1% milk on his way home last night. And Safeway was all out. So I bought a quart of 2% and a quart of skim, because math.

We will see each other on the other side.  Until then...


D.C. United reveals stadium renderings, and something feels off - WaPo: Whoa there, Clinton Yates of the Washington Post. You want a super snazzy stadium? FedEx is kind of snazzy. It also sucks. Give me the minimalist beauty of the Buzzard Point rendering any day. I want snazzy on the field. On the field!

Bill Hamid of DC United out 4-6 months after surgery - ESPN FC: How big a deal is this? Ask everyone from the Shanghai Daily to the Bangkok Post. Hamid is out. Dykstra is in. Time to shine.

Jordan Morris Joining MLS Is A Good Thing, For Now - Deadspin: I include this link because it's so typical Deadspin anti-MLS detritus: "What this move also means is that we'll never know how good Morris is unless or until he goes to Europe."

Every USMNT player's situation is different | US Soccer Players: And our domestic players stick up for their own and our league: "Why is a relegation-threatened German club, one effectively thrashing for air in a stormy sea, automatically considered a better environment for Morris than the ambitious hometown club that knows him and cares about him - and is writing a sizeable check to prove it?"

Jurgen Klinsmann claims to be an MLS fan - Fansided: "Why did I take 13 players from MLS to Brazil?"

New York City FC's Frank Lampard and LA Galaxy's Steven Gerrard think that top young international players should join Major League Soccer | Lampard is laying it on heavy for MLS.

Could Cristiano Ronaldo Be Joining MLS? - Toronto Reds: Clickbait.

Bay Area NASL Soccer Team Unveils Logo - The Beautiful Blog: All you logo-critics, what do you think of this? Very ninja, imho.

Las Vegas exhibition match to be part of worldwide tour for soccer legends | Las Vegas Review-Journal: Can someone please throw a bachelor's party in Vegas on February 20 and invite me?

There Are Signs That A U.S. Women's Soccer League Is Finally Working - Huffington Post: An incredibly good article on the promise of NWSL.

Women’s Soccer Referee Accused Of Asking Player On Date During Game | Soccer | Meanwhile, in Spain, utter bullsh*t.

ASU's Farquharson, Berryhill look ahead to pro soccer - AZ Central: One of the Washington Spirit's draftees, forward Cali Farquharson, is excited to be joining her hero Ali Krieger at the Soccerplex.

And here's the Spirit's new scarf, the product of a design contest:

Italian Soccer Legend: Props to Olive Garden ... It's Legit |  No. No, no, no. NO. And no. No.

And your Friday Freedom Kicks treat is Young People Used to Use these Absurd Little Cards to Get Laid. And what is this Bachelor show?

Commentariat, clear your sidewalk and: