Happy New Year: D.C. United & Sundry Soccer Links for 1 January 2016

Once again, Friday Freedom Kicks falls on a major holiday.

But Freedom Kicks pauses for no arbitrary point on the Earth's relentless, 67,062-mph revolution around its star, no matter how drunk/hungover the link compiler.

And so here are your links and, more importantly, your place to fraternize among the Commentariat and build a better world.

Guest Services Application | D.C. United:  Know someone who could use some part-time seasonal work?

MLS: 2015's top 20 stories | isportsweb:  This is a quick stroll down recent memory lane, to reorient yourself after last night's brain cell apocalypse.

Could the Riverhounds make a play for the MLS in 2016? | timesonline.com: Ermigawd.  This breathless article undermines its own breathlessness over and over again.  It would be cool, though, to have regular away games in the 'Burgh.  South Side is fun at night.

MLS Player or Muppet? It's the online game that's sweeping the nation | MLSsoccer.com:  I got 16 of 18 correct on my first go.

2015 Best Moments: Washington Spirit - NWSL.com:  Here are the Spirit's top three moments of the year.

2015 Year in Review: National Women's Soccer League - Equalizer Soccer:  Replete with video of Washington Spirit star Crystal Dunn, the woman who has somehow figured out how to make both general relativity and quantum mechanics bend to her will using just her feet.  What we see on the field is a Crystal Dunn, not the Crystal Dunn.  The Crystal Dunn exists only in the Fifth Dimension.  We merely see quantum echoes of her Her.  (Cf. my Black Friday rant.)

Speaking of Crystal Dunn...

New USWNT squad. Out: Rampone (surgery recovery), Rodriguez (pregnant), Rapinoe (ACL). Forward Mallory Pugh is 17. pic.twitter.com/z7UGSbpfu4

— Grant Wahl (@GrantWahl) December 31, 2015

10 best soccer schools in terms of athletes’ academic success | USA TODAY College: Okay, two things are stunning about this piece from Christmas Day.  First of all, did you know that 4 percent of the Earth's total human population is involved in soccer as either a player or an official? That's 270 million people. Holy $#&!. Second of all, UVA is not in the top ten of soccer schools when accounting for academic success.  Get your act together, Wahoos.  Back to that 4 percent figure, though. I'm blown away. Here's the breakdown.

Year in review: Silly soccer moments that somehow happened - Daily Breeze:  I missed this LAFC silly moment when it happened.  It does sound silly.

Jurgen Klopp refuses to rule out Liverpool Premier League title challenge after Sunderland win - Fox Sports:  My Red Men are sneaking up on first place since Brendan Rogers got the boot.  Jurgen Klopp, a soft German? Pshaw. Es gibt keine solche Sache.

This Weekend’s Soccer on TV | Soccer By Ives: Liverpool plays West Ham on Saturday at 7:45 a.m. on NBCSports. And there are other games this weekend, too.

And your Friday Freedom Kicks treat is this video showing the promulgation of space junk, from 1957 to 2015.  Yeah, we've pretty much trashed the place.

Commentariat, resolutionize!