Let's get it started in here.
Portland Timbers acquire Jamaican international Michael Seaton in trade from DC United | MLSsoccer.com: DC United is a net exporter of homegrown talent. Our trade surplus is out of control. Somebody call the USTR, stat.
D.C. United rookie Travis Worra has towering meet-up with John Isner at Citi Open - The Washington Post: Not sure what motivated this article, but our backup GK Worra is meeting tall people.
D.C. United has made a habit of falling behind — and winning - The Washington Post: This habit makes for entertaining soccer. I'm fine with this. Just so long as we don't forget the second part.
DC United, Montreal Impact academies competing in inaugural CONCACAF U-13 Champions League | MLSsoccer.com: The Black-and-Red kids are preparing well for the day that DC United trades them away to some Dutch or west coast team.
MLS transfer deadline day roundup: Red Bulls, SKC, Crew SC strengthen | ProSoccerTalk: The Red Bulls have finally found an Argentinian to replace Espindola.
MLS Insider: Stars like Jozy Altidore, Clint Dempsey, Lee Nguyen dish on their favorite goals | MLSsoccer.com: Of course, no one from the Number One Club in the Country featured here.
EPL season preview: Familiar four should contend for '15-16 title - Planet Futbol - SI.com: Are you ready for some football?
Christian Benteke eager to fit in at Liverpool and prove Tim Sherwood wrong | Football | The Guardian: The Red Men get a Belgian up front, just like Chelsea.
Grandma Does Soccer Tricks - Youtube: Disguised women soccer stars crash a men's game.
Adidas Knocks Soccer Heroes Off Pedestal 72andSunny Debut | Advertising - Advertising Age: Very cool advertisement from Adidas, which is the shoe company that's not caught up in a FIFA bribery scandal.
WASHINGTON SPIRIT FORWARD CRYSTAL DUNN VOTED NWSL PLAYER OF THE WEEK — Washington Spirit: Dunn-da-Dunn-Dunn. She's really - and I mean REALLY - awesome to watch. Something a little Brazilian in her defiance of the laws of physics sometimes. Or there are wormholes on the field at the Soccerplex.
Before "The Daily Show" Jon Stewart played soccer at William & Mary - ESPN: William & Mary has a soccer player award named after Jon Stewart.
Your Friday Freedom Kicks treat isn't really a treat... it's just, I can't even.
Commentariat, where you at?