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Freedom Kicks - D.C. United, Champions League and MLS links for Wednesday, August 26, 2015

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It's a Wednesday, and I'm on vacation. But I love you, so here are some links to get you over the hump.

Geoff Burke-USA TODAY Sports

Could somebody remind me why I would volunteer to stand in on Freedom Kicks while on vacation with my toddler in the far away land of red hots and deep dish? While I await your answers, onto the links.

First up, the customary recap roundup of D.C. United's 3-0 win over Montego Bay United  in CONCACAF Champions League play, including our own Steven StreffPablo Maurer for the league website and the Post's Steven Goff. For a second there, I was really, really sure that "Michael Farfan to Miguel Aguilar" would just keep happening for all the goals in ConcaChamps. Alas, Kofi Opare and Conor Doyle had to push their way into the spotlight, too.

The leak of the new USSF badge earlier this month set off some mixed reactions, but I think most of us think the update is at least better than what it's replacing. If this tweet turns out to be a thing, though - which, it's a blury tweeted image and should probably be assumed fake until and unless it's corroborated - I think the response to the new away kit will be decidedly more negative.

... and in a shock update before today's Freedom Kicks could even publish, it's a fake! Who could have seen that coming?

This item is admittedly more than a week old, but if you haven't read Bill Connelly's longform look at how Bayern became the best-run soccer club in the world, you really need to fix that oversight. Pronto.

A player wasting time by throwing himself off a stretcher certainly won't win any converts to our game, but it is pretty hilarious. Especially the guy from the other team who litterally can't so much that he runs out of the frame, arms flailing. He can't so much that he must. It's a new level of cannot heretofore unseen on these shores.

Our final substantive link this morning comes from the Great White North, where time operates differently such that Kekuta Manneh - who seems to have been in the league since the Vancouver Whitecaps were founded as an NASL team back in the 70s - is somehow only 20 years old. The speedster's growth curve is starting to catch up with his quick feet, which is exciting to watch if a bit harrowing for teams that have to play Vancouver more than once a year. (Shoutout to my homies out West in KC.)

And since I am in the Windy City, I'll leave you with an unparallelled ode to Chicago from the seminal Serengeti. Please to enjoy.

Welcome to your open thread for the day. Take it where you will.