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M-Ellis Island: D.C. United & Sundry Soccer Links for 8 May 2015

Give me your retired, your rich, your dribbling masses yearning to be discovered.

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Today's Friday Freedom Kicks is heavy on the soccer star immigration stories. It's also heavy on the links in general, to make up for my illness last week. So, gird your loins.  Here come the kicks.

Rookie GK Travis Worra's MLS Debut | D.C. United:  The Mystery Man who closed out DC's victory in Vancouver speaks!

United Drives Collects Soccer Equipment for Passback Program | D.C. United:  If you've got any soccer equipment laying around the garage collecting dust, bring it with you to RFK tomorrow and bring some joy and exercise to some kids' lives.

D.C. United news, notes: EJ update, Halsti return, trialist decision, Kickers duty - The Washington Post:  EJ remains in a kind of limbo while they figure out exactly HOW he will retire.

By The Numbers: Sporting KC at D.C. United - May 9, 2015 | Sporting Kansas City:  SKC's website has some statistics for you math nerds.  The chance of Vermes visibly throwing a fit on the sideline tomorrow night?  32.33, repeating, of course, percent.

Steven Gerrard's arrival will help MLS 'a lot' says Kaka - ESPN FC:  "Being the superstar of the league is not a pressure. It's a big motivation," says Kaka, autobiographically.  We'll see what The Korb does to the superstar of the league in a few weeks time.

Frank Lampard to Rent Robert DeNiro's Penthouse - Yahoo Sports:  If I get a nickel for every time Frank Lampard looks at himself in his new bathroom mirror, squinting, saying, "Are you talkin' to me?" I'll be a very wealthy man.  You know he's going to do it.

Transfer Watch: Italian star Andrea Pirlo says MLS "could be an idea" for his post-Juventus future | MLSsoccer.com:  This story resurfaces.  By the time Pirlo decides he's ready for the MLS retirement home, MLS won't be a retirement home any longer.

MLS source: Red Bulls place discovery claim on Kevin Prince-Boateng – Metro:  The Red Bulls "discovering" Kevin Prince-Boateng is sort of like me discovering New Jersey and staking my claim.

The MLS Haz New Rulz. Discovery claims on Americans? - Black And Red United:  Speaking of discovery claims, regular commenter fischy lays out the implications of some new MLS rules for D.C. United's front office.

MLS move good for James McClean's bank account, not his Ireland career | SportsJOE.ie:  Derry's James McClean could make landfall in Orlando City or Harrison, New Jersey.

It's time to acknowledge soccer has a problem with violence against women | Fusion:  A rundown of EPL players who have bad records when it comes to assaulting women.

Episode 158 – Not letting the moron off the hook | UnitedMania:  The latest podcast from UnitedMania.

Are Obafemi Martins & Clint Dempsey the best duo in MLS? | MLS Now | MLSsoccer.com:  Rachel Bonnetta needs to come to an RFK tailgate.

Thriving clubs and fervent fans: could Florida become the US's soccer capital? | Football | The Guardian:  What is going on in Florida?  The three NASL clubs have seen a 57% increase in attendance so far this year.  That thumping noise that you hear is David Beckham kicking himself.

The impudent art of dinking it over the goalkeeper - Telegraph:  A fun look at dinking.

Soccer Violence Escalates in Europe - WSJ:  I missed this story last week.

Keeping with today's theme, your Friday Freedom Kicks treat is Neil Diamond's America.