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Halstimania: DC United & Sundry Soccer Links for 22 May 2015

Move over Farfanfandom, here comes Halstimania.

Brad Mills-USA TODAY Sports

Today's Friday Freedom Kicks is brought to you by Acme Magic Headbands.  When you have long hair, and you'd like to screw around with the dark arts to achieve all your dreams and destroy all your enemies, make your headband an Acme Magic Headband.

D.C. United's Markus Halsti settling in after missing start of season with injury - Washington Times:  This is the first of two articles hot off the internet presses focused on our Finnish midfielder.  This one is a more personal look at the man and his acclimation to MLS (and Old Town).

Debut of Markus Halsti one of few bright spots for D.C. United in loss to Philadelphia Union |  This is article numero due.  Olsen describes Halsti's passing as "calm."  That's actually what I noticed, too.  Very calm and controlled.  Zen-like.  Now I'm going to say "om" aloud whenever he passes the ball.

New England Revolution vs. D.C. United | MLS MatchCenter:  Here's the obligatory preview page from MLS for the DCU-Revs game.  Keep checking back here at this link for more information.

San Jose's Chris Wondolowski vs. Orlando City's Cyle Larin | MLS Now |  Oh, Rachel Bonnetta.  That's it.  Oh, Rachel Bonnetta.

David Beckham, Donna Shalala expected to discuss partnering on football-soccer stadium | Miami Herald:  Next, Beckham partners with Father Mike, principal of St. Peter's High School.  Can someone just give this man a field to play on, with some stands, maybe some port-a-jons?  Even the NASL is passing Sir Beckham by.

Cinderella story comes to an end as Harpo's FC loses in soccer tourney - The Denver Post:  The Cinderella story you've never heard of, and won't.  It's not really a Cinderella story if it doesn't get off the ground.  By that measure, I'm a Cinderella story in every respect.  I'm going to write a book about myself:  Touchline for President of the United States 1992, the Cinderella Story.

Orlando soccer is so popular, shrinking the stadium is a silly, costly idea - Orlando Sentinel:  Shorter version:  If you shrink it, they will not come.

Madrid set to sack Ancelotti, Benitez favorite to take over -  Napoli's Benitez may take over Real Madrid.

Earthquakes to face Manchester United July 21 at California Memorial Stadium | Soccer By Ives:  The International Champions Cup has got Barcelona and Chelsea coming to FedEx field on July 28.  Would someone tell the people who organize this thing that FedEx field is a nightmare from one of the inner-most circles of hell for anyone to get to, watch a sporting event at, leave from, or otherwise end a preposition with?  Geezus.  I'd go to this match if it was at RFK, or St. Peter's High School, or literally an innermost circle of hell.  But the spectator's torture chamber run by Dan Snyder?  I went there once to watch soccer.  Once.  Never again.  (Fine.  I'll probably still go.  But ugh, venue deciders.)

And your Friday Freedom Kicks treat is B-roll footage from the new Batman coaster at Six Flags in San Antonio.

What did you have for breakfast?