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No, no, no. Don't put relish on it. Yeah. That's it. Just some mustard. Perf -
Oh, hi! Touchline here. You caught me ordering a meat pie.
Let's get started. It's Friday Freedom Kicks!
Report: Eddie Johnson’s career likely over due to heart condition | ProSoccerTalk: Our thoughts are with EJ today.
It's Time to Retire the "Pink Cows" Pejorative - Black And Red United Fanpost: Our very own Beardy Blue has a point, which also lit up reddit.
"No one cares about MLS" - a fan opinion. - Black And Red United Fanpost: And our very own taylor.silver reacts to that curmudgeonly ill-informed anti-soccer column at NPR from earlier in the week.
New York Red Bulls wary of DC United in Atlantic Cup rematch: "They'll have revenge on their mind" | MLSsoccer.com: Saturday's tifo banner: "I'll never pause again, never stand still, Till either death hath closed these eyes of mine Or fortune given me measure of revenge."
About 200 Red Bulls fans expected for D.C. - Big Apple Soccer: There will be at least 200 Red Bull fans at RFK, if their bus doesn't get lost. Wanna be helpful, so here are some Google directions.
Red Bulls unhappy with MLS scheduling following latest early-season bye week | Soccer By Ives: Shhh. Listen. Do you hear that? It's the world's smallest violin.
Washington Spirit Open 2015 NWSL Season in Houston — Washington Spirit: Tonight is the Spirit's season opener, versus the Houston Dash. Not sure how to catch it. Maybe the Spirit or Dash websites will stream it?
National Women's Soccer League faces challenges and opportunities as World Cup looms | OregonLive.com: Here's a look at the state of the NWSL as it starts its third season. Most players make between $6,000 and $30,000.
In England, No One Can Stop Women's Soccer | ThinkProgress: Here's a long piece on the state of the FA Women's Super League in England.
Power Ranking: NWSL Team Jerseys - Sounder At Heart: That Boston Breakers jersey hurts my eyeballs.
England vs. Norway: The 16 Second Football Match - CNN: England and Norway women's U-19 teams finish off the last 16 seconds of a game 5 days later.
Report: Major League Soccer team would be viable in Dayton - Dayton Business Journal: Dayton. Dayton?! MLS expansionism has just jumped the shark.
Collect call: 2015 Topps Major League Soccer | TBO.com and The Tampa Tribune: All you ever wanted to possibly know about the 2015 edition of Topps MLS cards.
Latest Score in Cyprus Soccer: Blown-up Cars 6, Refs 0 - NYT: Refs' cars are being blown up left and right in Cyprus. "A few weeks ago, after months of public criticism, the police arrested two men they said had orchestrated two of the bombings. The men are members of a fan group that had previously claimed responsibility for the attacks. The group's explanation for setting the bombs? According to their own statement, they did so as a means of protest against corruption. The men were subsequently released without being charged."
And your Friday Freedom Kicks treat today is comedians acting out emails.