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Ronaldo's Retirement Community: D.C. United & Sundry Soccer Links for 20 March 2015

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While Florida might not get another MLS team, Ronaldo might get his own Florida, in America, with MLS.

Winslow Townson-USA TODAY Sports

This Friday Freedom Kicks is dedicated to the generous people of Harrison, New Jersey.

New York Red Bulls vs. D.C. United | MLS MatchCenter:  It's MLS's greatest rivalry.  Get with it, MLSsoccer.com.  I'm underwhelmed.  This preview needs more cowbell.

Scouting Report: New York Red Bulls vs D.C. United - Once A Metro:  Do you ever go into a bookstore (ok, I know this is such a 1990s-era question.  Bookstore?  What's that?) and look at the Fodor's or Lonely Planet travel guides for the United States, to see what the section on American culture or people says, written by someone from the outside, about you?  That's a little what it's like reading about DCU from our brothers up the Turnpike.  Rolfe is on-again, off-again injured.  To which we reply:  pshaw.  Magic.  Headband.

New York Red Bulls to be without Roy Miller, possibly Ronald Zubar for home opener vs. DC United | MLSsoccer.com:  If you're eager for more news on the NYRB front, to impress your friends on Sunday, now you can say, "Roy Miller would have stopped that."

Report: Cristiano Ronaldo plans to join MLS after leaving Real Madrid in 2018 | FC Yahoo - Yahoo Sports:  Ergmigaaawd.

Ahead of San Jose's Avaya Stadium debut, a look at how MLS teams fared in stadium openers | MLSsoccer.com:  One day soon, DCU's debut at something-something stadium will be on this list... wait, what's our new stadium going to be called?  Seriously.  Please not some corporate sponsor name.  I'd like Duke Ellington Stadium.

Time for MLS to pull the plug on Miami debacle | World Soccer Talk:  If this was anyone other than Beckham, it would have been past time to pull the plug by now.  Instead, Beckham persists; we abide.

Orlando City Soccer nixes seating cap, sells 24,000 tickets - My News 13:  Further inland, away from the encroaching waters of the Atlantic, Orlando City is proving itself more than worthy of its MLS promotion.

Roger Goldingay on the growth of soccer in America and more: Timbers at 40 | OregonLive.com:  An interview with a Portland Timber from the 1975 season.

Soccer World Cup final 7 days before Christmas - WSJ:  Merry Christmas, slaves and indentured servants of Qatar!

And your Friday Freedom Kicks treat?  Apparently, you can reconstruct the sound of Friedrich Nietzshe's voice using DNA. I can't even.