The Portland Timbers won the 2015 MLS Cup after beating Columbus Crew SC 2-1 at Mapfre Stadium. The match was filled with twists and turns, yet it was the lumberjacks from PDX lifting the fabled and historic Philip F. Anschutz Trophy at the end of the afternoon leaving the Crew players and fans with nothing to fall back on but the joys of living in Cow Town.
How Does Gregg Berhalter emerge the victor?
Losing MLS Cup is often a bad sign for a coach. The only three coaches to really come back from the soul crushing defeat are Bruce Arena, Sigi Schmid, and Bob Bradley. So, what is Gregg Berhalter supposed to do with his career?
While the opportunity that Berhalter could miraculously take the Crew back to the promise land does exist, it's likely time for him to go ahead and search for greener pastures. Perhaps he should cast aside the prison shackles that comes with being a well paid coach in MLS and try his luck in the NASL. I hear there's a team sprouting up in the metropolis of Oklahoma City that is in need of a head coach.
Leave now while you're still highly rated in Columbus, Gregg. Follow your dreams before Pep Guardiola or Carlo Ancelotti manage to pip you for the job. You can help their one fan build a dynasty greater than the New York Yankees in the Sooner state.
Gregg, it's time for you to become the leader of Rayo OKC.
The Timber Joey Incident
Unfortunately for all involved, the match was marred by a ten minute period when Timber Joey, banned from bringing his murderous chainsaw into the stadium, charged onto the field from the stands. A distraught Joey (real name: TannerPeyton Trump), still reeling from the fact that he wasn't the one that stole a log cabin in Missouri piece-by-piece, was finally subdued by Columbus's Finest with a tranquilizer dart.
Luckily, ESPN was quick with their camera work during the incident and managed to squeeze in a quick First Take segment featuring Skip Bayless and Stephen A Smith arguing over whether or not Chivas USA should be brought back into the league next spring. It's safe to say that both were wrong no matter which side the supported.
Columbus Crew fans are classy.
The biggest highlight of the match was truly the polite and ultra-courteous Crew fans who saw fit to toast the Timbers players following one of the goals. They even were kind enough to provide the players with beers while they were still on the field!
Columbus Crew supporters throw bottles at Portland Timbers players after opening goal in MLS Cup … pic.twitter.com/PaPvTEgAp3— DailyBunch Portland (@dailybunchPDX) December 7, 2015
Following the game, MLS Commissioner Don Garber made sure to congratulate the Nordecke for the atmosphere that they created in the stadium. One young lady even went out of her way in showing her appreciation of the recognition to tell Garber that he was, in fact, the number one commissioner in all of sports.
MLS should be pleased with the Final.
Despite the fact that the ratings of the Final will probably challenge for the worst in MLS history, the league will likely come away from this weekend with their heads held high and looking toward the future.
Editor's Note: If it wasn't obvious, he author of this post did not watch a second of the 2015 MLS Cup. He was forbidden from even watching one highlight by the Overlords.