I'm not going to lie, things are a little thin today, so milk every last thought out of these things, OK?
Possible image of D.C. United 2016 Home Kit Leaked - Black And Red United: ICYMI, you can unmiss D.C. United's rumored home jersey now. Go look and chime in.
A Less Hot Take Approach To Evaluating MLS Centerbacks — American Soccer Analysis: Looking at MLS center backs analytically, and some small fuel to the fire for one of the two.
Ten Intriguing Ligue 1 Attackers | StatsBomb: In lieu of Steve Goff's pre-holiday report that D.C. United were looking at a Ligue 1 player, I found this similarly analytic-themed piece. Most of the players here are easily out of the price range, but there may be a sleeper here, who knows.
Manchester City 4-1 Sunderland: Black Cats Hammered Again - Roker Report: In partner club news, Fabio Borini scored a goal in his second straight game for Sunderland, and again it was all moot, as Manchester City scored the first four, including three in the first half. Aston Villa's draw over the weekend narrowed the Black Cats' hold on 19th place down to 4 points.
Hunter S. Thompson Sets His Christmas Tree on Fire, Nearly Burns His House Down (1990) | Open Culture: Hunter S. Thompson at Christmas time must have been magical, as this former TIME author suggests:
I gave up on the interview and started worrying about my life when Hunter Thompson squirted two cans of fire starter on the Christmas tree he was going to burn in his living-room fireplace, a few feet away from an unopened wooden crate of 9-mm bullets. That the tree was far too large to fit into the fireplace mattered not a whit to Hunter, who was sporting a dime-store wig at the time and resembled Tony Perkins in Psycho. Minutes earlier, he had smashed a Polaroid camera on the floor.
If you want to see it without clicking through, here you go:
Try to get out of here soon, this is bat country.