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The Crazy Continues: DC United & Sundry Soccer Links for 9 January 2015

Red Bull fans are raising money to tell Red Bull where they can stick it.

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Not a Red Bull fan.
Not a Red Bull fan.
Darrian Traynor/Getty Images

Last Friday Freedom Kicks focused like a laser on NYCFC's Lampardgate fiasco.  Today, we're going to get started with a little NYRB Petkegate fiasco.

Look, if you're sick of all these soccer-related fiascos, you can treat yourself to the Greenport Peter Pan fiasco, although that's also straight out of New York.

Then we'll move on to other crazy soccer news because this has been a crazy new year for MLS.  It's exciting, really.  Our league is getting very interesting as it tries to find its footing for a higher rung on the world ladder.

Plus, there's no DCU-related fiasco news.  So that's good.  Enjoy.

New York Red Bulls fire Mike Petke, burn fans -  "The number one rule in professional sports that must never be broken is that you don't make your fans feel as if they are being ripped off."

Red Mist | First Touch:  "We believed because, even as the noisy neighbors popped up, their first step was to trip over themselves with the Lampard non-signing. All you had to do was not do much of anything, and you couldn't even do that right...We're tired of the be-suited flavor of the month pissing on our heads and telling us it's raining. We wanted consistency and a clear plan, and we had it, and you threw it away. And you've thrown so very many of us away as well. Shame on you."

Billboard against the Firing of Mike Petke - Indiegogo:  Some NYRB fans have started a fundraising campaign on this crowd-sourcing website to put up a billboard denouncing Petke's firing.  They are well on their way to meeting their goal.

An open letter to Red Bull idiots - Metrofanatic:  "Here at MetroFanatic, we tell our children that it's ok to make mistakes. But if you repeat your mistakes, that makes you an idiot. You are idiots, Red Bull."  The opening page at Metrofanatic includes a frankly moving timeline of significant Metrostar/Red Bull moments, each concluding with "Mike Petke was there."

New York Red Bulls unwilling to meet Jozy Altidore's price, sources say - ESPN FC:  So NYRB may not snag Jozy after all.  But the article points out that he may still be headed stateside, just not to Harrison.  (Meanwhile, another USMNTer, Sacha Kljestan, is still potentially in the NYRB mix.)

Unraveling Frank Lampard's contract situation - Hudson River Blue:  Let's take the ferry back to NYCFC.  Hudson River Blue has a fantastic analysis of where things stand in Lampardgate, conducting a thorough autopsy on the whole "signing" charade that the club touted just as they were selling season tickets.  And our friends up north close with the question:  "What's MLS going to do about it?"

One coach’s nightmare—sending his wank video to female players | Ars Technica:  Speaking of screwups.

Playing For 90 Soccer Show: Special MLS Edition:  Baxter Colburn's podcast looks at the last 36 hours in American soccer, including the news swirling around Mix Diskerud as NYCFC desperately seeks to replace Lampard.

What the Zac MacMath loan means for the Philadelphia Union - Brotherly Game:  Philly is going to have a DP in goal - Algerian Rais M'Bolhi.  Meanwhile, Maurice Edu is sticking with the Union for a while longer.

Houston Dynamo acquire Leonel Miranda on loan from Argentine team - Houston Chronicle:  While Argentina may have soured on loans from the IMF, the country is very cool with lending the world their futbolistas.  In addition to Club Independiente lending 21-year-old midfielder Leonel Miranda to the DynamoRiver Plate is lending 21-year-old defender Andres Cabrera to the Montreal Impact.

Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard set for MLS showdown in August | Daily Mail Online:  If Lampard ever does make it to NYCFC, he'll meet Gerrard's Galaxy in August.  Don't hold your breath.

Steven Gerrard could move to Liverpool on loan from LA Galaxy - ESPN FC:  Pahahaha.  It's almost like MLS is becoming EPL's offshore tax haven.

Tottenham make moves to shift Emmanuel Adebayor off books | The Times:  An MLS club could pick up Tot'num's Adebayor, who's been shunted to the side of late.

Perception that MLS is Retirement Home for European Stars Still Doesn’t Fit Reality | The Big Lead:  This is a really great rundown of MLS's experience with superstar 30-something internationals.

Fifteen-year-old Russian soccer player buys, then wrecks, Aston Martin | FOX Sports:  Only in Russia.  And Malibu, maybe.

Prince Ali candidature irrelevant - Fifa is the problem, not its leader -  Here's an analysis of what ails FIFA, and it's bigger than Blatter.  But we knew that.  In any event, Reuters is reporting that this Prince Ali campaign is going to be a genuine challenge for Sepp.

'Homesick' Stephanie quits French club ahead of FIFA goal result -  This is a reminder that the FIFA goal of the year gets announced on Monday.

And finally, your Friday Freedom Kicks treat is this video, lifted seemingly surreptitiously from CNN archives, of what CNN would play at the end of the world.

It's Friday.  So don't screw around.  You screw around too much.