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Freedom Kicks: DC United, MLS, and Soccer-Centric Links of 12 September 2014

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Red cards for everyone.

Geoff Burke-USA TODAY Sports

Rough week, eh?  Look, I can see you're really upset about Fabi's red card.

I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.

Friday Freedom Kicks are here.

Appeal to Review a Red Card Decision | PRESS BOX:  There isn't much by way of DC United news at the moment.  We're all awaiting the outcome of DCU's promised appeal of Fabian Espindola's red card.  So here's the appeal procedure.

The Atlantic Cup is back in DC | D.C. United:  Molly Bruh wants you to feel better.

MLS Commissioner Don Garber given new five-year deal - LA Times:  The Don remains the League's top cheese for another five years.  Thank you, Don Garber, for sticking around, and for getting rid of the shootout.  I've never rooted so hard for a scoreless tie in my life as I did on Wednesday.

MLS hopes to rekindle Portland expansion magic in Orlando - Orlando Sentinel:  According to Orlando's newspaper, the city of Orlando is basically the same as Portland.  I'll believe it when I'm binging on the next season of Orlandia.

Ex-Clemson women’s soccer player files lawsuit claiming she suffered a ‘traumatic brain injury’ during hazing incident  - NY Daily News:  Here's yet another story of vicious hazing in women's collegiate soccer.  Let's review something.  If you are being stripped or blindfolded by teammates, or you're stripping or blindfolding a teammate, just stop right there.  I don't care what it is you think you are doing.  Just stop.  Nothing good will come of this.

Hull City Owner Puts Club Up For Sale Due To Name Change Dispute | World Soccer Talk:  Hull City owner wants to change the name of his team to the Hull Tigers.  Because tigers are awesome cool.  (But what about Hull Ninjas, you say?  Also, awesome cool.)  But the world won't let him.  Because everybody sucks.  So he's going to sell the team.  There's a Dan Snyder joke in there somewhere.

Brazil soccer field first to use players' kinetic energy to turn on the lights - CBS News:  In case you don't actually click the link, let me explain.  A company has invented these tiles that have cogs in them, and you place them under astroturf, and when you run on them, it creates electricity.  I'm pretty sure this will only work on soccer fields.  An NFL game would cause city-wide blackouts every 12 seconds while everybody huddles up and the chains get moved.  (Extra credit question:  Can you have cogs without wheels?)

Soccer Fans Supply Strong Voice in Scottish Independence Debate - NYT:  Personally, touchline hopes that the No vote prevails but also that the so-called United Kingdom concedes a whole lot more self-rule and tax-and-spending power to the Scots.  I like me some kilts in my House of Commons.

Mexican side Puebla train in DOG MASKS ahead of clash with Ronaldinho's Queretaro - Mirror Online:  This is just bizarre.  It's one of those things where somebody in charge had a very unique train of thought that ended up with the seemingly self-evidently brilliant notion that "hey let's make our guys wear dog masks!"  And it made sense to that one person for, like, a minute -- but a minute was all that was needed for the memo to go out.  And so this happened.

The Cure - Hello Goodbye - YouTube:  This is your Friday Freedom Kicks non-soccer-related treat.  The Cure covers the Beatles' "Hello Goodbye."  Just out on the youtube this week.  The last time I saw The Cure was in 1992.

I don't know why you say goodbye.  I say hello.