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Monday Freedom Kicks: Everything is Horrible, Everyone Must Panic!

Today's Freedon Kicks mull over the weekend's action from DC United, MLS and the craziness of El Clasico. Let the angst begin!

Hey, how was your weekend, good? We've got postmortems galore, some thoughts, some opinions, some diversions, a little bit of everything for everyone.

Reviews of Saturday's unpleasantness from a variety of sources starting with us, D.C., Maurer, Goff, Straus, CSN Washington, District Sports Page and on the other side via Waking The Red.

Michael Seaton and Steven Birnbaum net goals on the Kickers' way to a 3-0 win over UVA | D.C. United: Messrs Seaton and Birnbaum make their case to be back and stay with the parent club.

The MLS Grinder: The Red Menace Wakes | The 91st Minute | Soccer Blog | Videos | Pop-Culture: Will Parchman with an increasingly must-read column highlighting the weekend's action across the League. I shamelessly quote the following from it: "You figure Silva will come to understand the movement of two forwards he’s never played with before. You extend United that grace. But 2013 means that grace does have much of a shelf life."

We all know Davy Arnaud took a beating Saturday, here is the aftermath:


Thohir, I hope he'll find step by Inter - Football - DC's global soccer partner Inter Milan fell 2-1 to Atalanta. A GoogleTrans of post-game comments: "Guarin, Cambiasso and Hernanes have not been able to find the rhythm and in the end, our defense was not sufficiently attentive..." Hey buddy, you're supposed to be bringing Cuchu here, not driving him away.

MLS scores: Toronto and Columbus stay perfect, Portland still winless - Saturday's MLS action. Clubs winless! Haven't scored a goal yet! Contract them all! What about Sunday, Frank Yallop?

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Disappointed we didn&#39;t win today but felt the boys tried hard and we continue to grow <a href=";src=hash">#cf97</a></p>&mdash; Frank Yallop (@FrankYallop) <a href="">March 23, 2014</a></blockquote>

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What game is he watching? No progress, team didn't make the playoffs last year, sack him!

LA Galaxy accuse Real Salt Lake's Alvaro Saborio of "dirty" play, anticipate league action | Normally LA can go spit, but they've likely got a case here.

San Jose Earthquakes' camera complaint in Toluca headed to CONCACAF Disciplinary Committee | Kind of surprised that this is being looked at at this point. Did Toluca film the Quakes' top secret elbow-throwing sessions?

Steven Beitashour Will Represent His Parents’ Homeland at the 2014 World Cup - In Quakes alumni news, a really good look at the current Whitecaps player as he gets ready to represent Iran in Brazil.

Dempsey in Winter: The Fading Magic of the USMNT Legend ": Noah Davis writing something that folks will either see play out in 3 months or will mock in 6 months if Deuce follows the Tim Cahill path of DP acclimation to MLS.

El Clasico 2014 - Similar to the hub that BR&U does for games, SB Nation did one for the Clasico. Well worth clicking through to see all the goodies.

Probably drunk fans think Manchester United will beat Bayern Munich - Child. Please.

Watch Chivas fans fight with police - Chivas proper got into a bit of trouble with security at their match with Atlas. As a sidenote, current DC player Cristian Fernandez' longtime club Racing Santander defeated Real Oviedo 2-0 but there was some rockthrowing and minor injuries amongst the teams' fans.

The Bonhamizer: I have a bit of a soft spot for mashups, and any time you can take John Bonham's drum tracks and lay them down under songs from Adele and Taylor Swift, you gotta do it. The results aren't too bad.

This is your place to talk about what you'd like to talk about.