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Freedom Kicks: D.C. United and MLS news and links for 11 March 2014

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Reserve goalkeepers being hilarious, Dave Johnson on the mic, trademarks, coach-hiring, international losing and fan voting. Start your Tuesday off with Freedom!

Jonathan Dyer-USA TODAY Sports

It's Tuesday, and I know some of us have yet to fully recover from Saturday's reality check, so I'm going to start today's Freedom Kicks with some D.C. United-inspired levity.

The 2014 MLS Cocktail Book | Open Wide For Some Soccer
Our friends at OWFSS have created the greatest (read: only) all-MLS cocktail list. Of course, after last season, we already have a drink called Pontius - gin, simple syrup and a sprig of rosemary shaken with ice and strained into a cocktail glass garnished with a small, fresh sprig of rosemary - but I'll admit that theirs fits the Californian somewhat better than ours.

ANGRY JOE WILLIS saves your day | DCist
Another one from our good friend Pablo Maurer, who saved everybody's Monday with an epic photoshoot photoshop session with (the media guide photo of) Joe Willis. Be sure to hop on Twitter for more #ANGRYJOEWILLIS.

Monumental FC highlights United Soccer Club | D.C. United
Dave Johnson and his soccer-focused web series for the online-only Monumental Network are back! They kick off 2014 with a look at the Black-and-Red's charitable work with urban youth. [EDIT: I've removed the embedded video because it was autoplaying, and I couldn't disable it. I don't want to out any of our readers who indulge at the office. To see the video, click on through the link above.]

MLS takes over trademark applications for Los Angeles SC and Los Angeles F.C. | The Goat Parade
Remember those new trademarks Alicia Ratterree found a couple weeks back? We all thought they were dead with the purchase of Chivas USA by the league, but it turns out - not so much.

Colorado Rapids hire Pablo Mastroeni as manager | SBNation.com
Ladies and gentlemen, for the time being at least, all 19 MLS clubs have head coaches. May peace reign in our day.

CCL Quarterfinal Preview: San Jose Earthquakes vs. Toluca | MLSsoccer.com
Nick Rosano does some ChestRockwell type work here and goes in depth to preview tonights ConcaChamps quarterfinal leg in the South Bay.

U.S. Women's National Team lose to Denmark in Algarve Cup | Washington Post
Goff chronicles the USWNT, who have now lost two consecutive games for the first time in 13 years. Even more record-breaking: in the Denmark loss, they allowed five goals for the first time, ever. I'm choosing to treat this as the low point on the story arc before they rise up again to win next summer's Women's World Cup in Canada.

Fans will choose the badge for NYCFC | New York City FC
We've made a bit of hay around these parts for the stupid monicker NYCFCLOLWTFIDKROFLBBQ chose, but I do have to admit that allowing fans to vote between two finalists for the badge - both of which are pretty sharp - is actually a good call. I know most people are feeling the subway token-inspired design, but I actually prefer the shield shape - not that my opinion counts, or should count, since I won't actually ever support whatever logo they do end up with.

Consider this your open thread for the day, where you can talk about anything - nice spring weather, woo! - and everything - look a butterfly! - your little hearts desire.