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Freedom Kicks: D.C. United, USMNT, and MLS links for Wednesday December 31st, 2014

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Gedion Zelalem, Buzzard Point bill signed by Mayor Gray, and a bunch of MLS moves.

Michael Regan/Getty Images

It's New Years Eve, and I'm ending 2014 in a foolish fashion. Handsome Boy Modeling School is reuniting for the first time in years...in DC...tonight...and I won't be there because I committed elsewhere. My impetuousness has been brutally punished by the gods of fun.

On that downer note, let's mope our way through some links:

Soccer stadium bills are signed as Mayor Vincent Gray closes out term | District of DeBonis
Think I recognize some folks in that photo. Also, reminder: D.C. United is free of existential crises that wouldn't also be the literal end of the world. Our job as fans is now to stave off the apocalypse.

Arsenal’s Gedion Zelalem is a U.S. citizen | Soccer Insider
All our problems are solved!!!

Well, maybe. Actually, no one really knows. Let's change that: Some of our problems might be solved. I mean, getting a teenager on the outskirts of Arsenal's squad is indisputably a good thing, but USMNT fans are keenly aware of what can happen after one becomes American soccer's Next Big Thing as a teenager.

Revolution Getting New Secondary Jersey, Won't be White | The Bent Musket
My guess is that the Revs will go with red, because no one in MLS wears red.

Wigan releasing Espinoza, clearing way to return to Kansas City | The Blue Testament
Getting Roger Espinoza back will improve the Sporks, no doubt. It would also make Paulo Nagamura a second-choice player, which is a bit interesting to me given that United could use another central midfielder to compete with Davy Arnaud. Nagamura wouldn't be at the top of my list or anything, but he's a proven MLS veteran. We could do much worse.

Reports: Assistant Coaches Leave Houston for San Jose | Dynamo Theory
Owen Coyle made a point of noting that the existing Dynamo coaching staff could help him come to grips with MLS's unusual ways, but they might all be headed to San Jose to stay with Dominic Kinnear instead. Jeff Carlisle says Houston is trying to retain Steve Ralston (a guy who, one day, will probably be a head coach somewhere) but otherwise we might see Coyle struggle with the same things that have troubled other coaches who arrived without any familiarity with our weird league.

Chicago Fire Sign Brazilian Center Back Adaílton | ChicagoFire.com
The Fire are doing everything they can to have as much roster turnover as the expansion clubs. There still isn't much creativity on their roster outside Harry Shipp, but then again Frank Yallop isn't exactly known for fielding teams that play clever soccer.

Report: Montreal Impact close to signing Alberto Gilardino | Mount Royal Soccer
Montreal needs to do something other than put their goalscoring eggs in the Jack McInerney basket given the youngster's proclivity for months-long cold streaks. And let that be a lesson to all of you goalpoachers out there: If you can't hold the ball up or stretch the field with speed, you better keep scoring goals if you want to stay on the field. Anyway, I'm not sure Gilardino's year playing in China will have kept him razor sharp, but he's only 32. This likely isn't a "one last season before I retire" signing if it happens.

Major League Soccer to release complete 2015 regular-season schedule on Jan. 7 | MLSsoccer.com
Prepare your #MLSscheduleislatebecause tweets so you can be extra sharp on the 7th.

Got NYE plans? Or some other thing you want to discuss? Go for broke.