Beer Cup Snakes and Crotch Tackles: DC United, MLS, and Sundry Soccer Links for 10 October 2014

Yes, there are thousands and thousands of uses of corn, all of which I will tell you about right now.

Welcome to Friday Freedom Kicks.

10 Reasons Why Ben Olsen Should Be Named MLS Coach of the Year - MLS Multiplex:  This is pretty definitive.  Benny should frame this article as a 2014 memento.  His faith in Taylor Kemp and Steve Birnbaum has paid off.  Fabian Espindola and Bobby Boswell trusted him when they took the DCU offer, and that paid off.  His nurturing of Bill Hamid and Perry Kitchen has paid off.  And thanks to the ownership team for not turning all Toronto FC on us.  Give this man Coach of the Year.  This season, he is head and shoulders above the competition.  Full stop.

DC United finish season with favorable schedule, but coach Ben Olsen taking nothing for granted | MLSsoccer.com:  Benny thinks we've got momentum for the playoffs.

Houston Dynamo, a Team to Believe In - Orange in the Oven:  Fans of Houston are feeling bullish about their climb above the red line over the next few weeks.

Portland Timbers fans build longest documented beer cup snake in MLS history | SIDELINE | MLSsoccer.com:  Will the Screaming Eagles and Barra Brava let this go unanswered?  I wonder.

MLS Disciplinary Committee suspends New York Red Bulls' Peguy Luyindula one game for tackle | MLSsoccer.com:  The infamous crotch tackle will get you suspended and fined.  So don't tackle people with your crotch.

MLS keeps budding stars in America with homegrown rule - San Jose Mercury News:  Little by little, we will learn all of the MLS acquisition and transfer rules, which make the rules of whackbat seem like tic-tac-toe  Here's lesson #323, on the homegrown rule.

Landon Donovan says he's prepared for life after soccer - USA Today:  Landon Donovan is the kind of guy who will break up with you first if he thinks you're about to dump him.

Coach placed on leave after soccer player with autism duct taped to goalposts | WPXI.com:  This story will choke you up and make you mad.

A Young Striker’s Death Haunts American Soccer - WSJ:  A look back at the far-too-short life and career of Miro Rys, NASL superstar.  We might have won a World Cup by now, because of how much further the American game would have developed, if he hadn't been taken from us by a car accident.

10 Funniest FIFA 15 Glitches You Must See - whatculture.com:  Some of these are extremely funny.

And finally, in memory of comedian Jane Hooks, who passed away this week, here is your reminder that there is no basement in the Alamo.