Happy Friday, ladies and gentlemen. I've been exiled to the land of no internet (my house) while SB Nation moves offices. It takes me a couple minutes to load a page, and I supposedly have broadband service. It's wonderful. If you ever want to know what property management company you should never rent from, I can help you out.
Welcome to 2008, D.C. United! Congrats on doing the bare minimum.
It's so hilarious that the USMNT is playing Germany at RFK.
Young prodigies burn out in every country on earth but whatever.
I didn't get to catch this one, but it sounds like the Timbers were pretty unlucky.
Because he's better than Alonso at literally everything.