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Thank, you @BlasianSays. His little tweetmeme has led to some pretty great Internet today. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you need to spend more time on the internet.
After ex-D.C. United and current Seattle Sounders fullback Marc Burch threw the glove down in the Seattle press during the lead-up to this weekend's Washington Derby (It's totally a thing!), one man took to the internet to fight back the best way he knew how. A hashtag. And thus was #BurchFacts born. It started innocuously enough:
His right foot is better than his left. #Burchfacts
— Rick (@BlasianSays) April 5, 2012
He cries at the end of Titanic. #Burchfacts
— Rick (@BlasianSays) April 5, 2012
You get better service at McDonald's.#Burchfacts
— Rick (@BlasianSays) April 5, 2012
Well, it didn't take long for SBN blog Sounder at Heart to catch wind of the new hashtag and for S@H writer Side Real to give his interpretation:
@sounderatheart If they really hated him, they'd ignore him. They must fear him.
— Side Real (@seasoccerscene) April 5, 2012
A set-up that B&RU reader @VercengetorixII and meme-originator @BlasianSays couldn't help but knock down...
.@sounderatheart I mean, he shot first. And that shot went over the bar. #BurchFacts
— VercengetorixII (@VercengetorixII) April 5, 2012
@sounderatheart @seasoccerscene We fear him only because we don't want to be hit by an errant cross. #Burchfacts
— Rick (@BlasianSays) April 5, 2012
At that point the floodgates were well and truly open. We've curated some of the best #BurchFacts below.
His so-called "amazing left foot" is like Santa Claus. Only comes out once a year. And isn't actually real. #Burchfacts
— Martin Shatzer (@mshatzerDC) April 5, 2012
Once got a black eye from Josh Wicks at practice. #BurchFacts #ActuallyTrue
— VercengetorixII (@VercengetorixII) April 5, 2012
His most significant contribution to #DCU history: Punching Cuahtemoc Blanco in a USOC match. #Burchfacts
— Martin Shatzer (@mshatzerDC) April 5, 2012
He once tried to kick his girlfriend out. He missed. #Burchfacts
— Rick (@BlasianSays) April 5, 2012
He actually does not have a right foot, its just a prosthetic. #BurchFacts
— John (@VTUnited) April 5, 2012
He takes a 5 Hour Energy before his free kicks. He thinks it will help him avoid 'hitting the wall.' #Burchfacts
— Rick (@BlasianSays) April 5, 2012
He never took to driving a manual car very well. It's tough to clutch & brake with just one foot #Burchfacts
— JClekkas (@lekkasjc) April 5, 2012
He shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. Well, he tried. He shot too high, and the bullet still hasn't come down. #BurchFacts
— Adam Taylor (@the_amt) April 5, 2012
To be clear, this is all in good fun, and we stand with @CaptainHooligan in his well wishes for Burch.
Burch is a good guy and I'm glad he is doing well in Seattle #BurchFacts. Wait did I do it wrong?
— Captain Hooligan (@CaptainHooligan) April 5, 2012
Except for Saturday. Saturday, he sucks. #BurchFacts