Top five examples of 2012 that the New York Red Bulls suck.
5. Their supporters hate us, and yet the only dirt they have on us is that our city was allegedly built on a swamp. It wasn't. If any stadium location resembles a swamp, its Harrison, New Jersey.But that isn't even my point. My point is that Red Bull supporters are so unoriginal that they can't even think of a better reason to make fun of us. The swamp jokes are getting old. Get some new material, guys.
4. One of their most important players of 2011, Luke Rodgers decided that he would rather lie to American authorities and have his visa denied than return to New York this season. Can't blame you, Luke.
3. NYRB team president Chris Heck is glad that his team hasn't won anything yet. We are too, Chris! This doesn't make sense at all though. Not from a business perspective, or from any other perspective. But let us know when you think your team is ready to win, Chris. We'll beat you then too.
2. According to Ives Galarcep, Red Bull coach spent the entire offseason from playoff elimination to the start of training camp outside of the U.S. That includes skipping the MLS Draft, the combine, and all scouting leading up to it. Since Backe apparently likes long vacations, he's really going to enjoy the permanent vacation he gets to take after getting fired later this year.
1. Rafael Marquez is a total asshole. He was an asshole before coming to New York, and he's even more of an asshole now. I just can't imagine how a guy could have so little respect for himself, his teammates, and the game of soccer to intentionally kick someone in the neck. Its just disgusting that this guy is still employed.
The Red Bulls suck. They always have. But what's so great about the Red Bulls' level of suckage is that we could write a new list like this every single year. In fact, I think we probably will.
Game time: 6:00 PM
Television: ESPN2
Projected starting lineup: D.C. United will return to the starting lineup that has given the team plenty of recent success. That means that Emiliano Dudar will (hopefully) return to the starting lineup at center back next to Brandon McDonald, with Daniel Woolard on the left and Robbie Russell on the right. The midfield will feature Danny Cruz and Nick DeLeon on the wings, with Perry Kitchen and Dwayne De Rosario in the middle. Hamdi Salihi and Maicon Santos will start up top, with Joe Willis in goal.
Prediction: This could be a high-scoring game, thanks to the impressive form of Kenny Cooper and Thierry Henry, as well as the high quantity of injuries to the Red Bull back line and central midfield positions. I'm predicting a 2-2 draw as United maintains its unbeaten streak. I'm also predicting this will be the last game in a while that Willis starts ahead of Bill Hamid in goal.
What are you drinking? Kona Fire Rock Pale Ale
This is your place for pre-game, in-game, and post-game discussion, as well as a potential place to possibly celebrate a Capitals victory, and a place to list even more examples of the Red Bulls sucking, if you feel so inclined.