A thought just occurred to me.
Each of the last two years, we ran away from the competition in the regular season, winning the Supporters' Shield, and earning the #1 seed in the Eastern Conference and home field advantage throughout the playoffs. Yet we fizzled out and failed to reach the MLS Cup Finals each year.
Is it at all possible that these early season losses are all part of Tom Soehn's diabolical plan to earn a lower seeding in the playoffs to reverse our luck of the past two years?
The more I think about it, the more this idea actually starts to make sense in some deranged way. Especially with the current playoff format. The Eastern Conference is stacked this year. The Western Conference is a bit more, um, flat. So DC United could conceivably have their sights set on fifth place in the East, a seeding that would move them into the West for the playoffs. Instead of having to face our arch nemeses Chicago and New England in the playoffs, or a resurgent Columbus or Kansas City, United would earn matchups against weaker opponents like LA or Dallas.
Mr. Soehn, you are hereby a genius.