Let's jump right into what was another low-scoring week in Major League Soccer - though thankfully, there were blessedly fewer draws than last week. Here's what happened in Week 4:
D.C. United 1-2 Columbus Crew: Here's our recap and The Last Word on the afternoon from the Editor Emeritus himself, complete with more links to other pieces on the game. Y'know, if you're feeling masochistic.
New England Revolution 0-0 Sporting Kansas City: New England was the last team to open their home ground in 2013, and judging by the scoreline of their home opener, they still haven't. The Revs seem happy with the point, while the Sporks managed a road result without mainstays Matt Besler and Graham Zusi.
Montreal Impact 1-0 New York Red Bulls: And L'Impact stay perfect. And - more deliciously - the Metros stay winless. Francophones should be sure to check out Mount Royal Soccer's assessment of their season-to-date (spoiler: it's positive). Everyone else should enjoy the Red Bulls' misery as long as it lasts.
Houston Dynamo 2-1 Vancouver Whitecaps: The Orange came from behind to stay unbeaten all-time at BBVA Compass
Hellscape Stadium. Houston is celebrating the full points despite missing some key contributors due to international call-ups, while the 'Caps are ruing their failure to make history after leading 0-1 at the half.
FC Dallas 2-0 Real Salt Lake: Wrap your head around this - the current Western Conference leaders have won three games and lost to Chivas USA. This season is weird and awesome. Dallas is feeling good about their win - and for good reason. RSL fans are pointing to the team's bad juju in Texas and their many international absences as reasons for the loss.
LA Galaxy 1-0 Colorado Rapids: The defending champs needed a penalty to put the Rapids away this weekend, and one caused by a Drew Moor bit of off-the-ball straight red-earning insanity, at that. Despite being undefeated on the season, LA isn't happy with their shooting accuracy - hitting the target 9 times from 21 attempts. Colorado, on the other hand, isn't happy with much of anything from the game.
Chicago Fire 1-4 Chivas USA: One of these teams will be at the bottom of ever single power ranking this week, and it's not the one we expected it to be at the beginning of the season. Chicago fans feel like the victims of a cosmic Shakespearian prank - which, having lost embarrassingly and at home to the Goats, they might be. The Rojiblancos, meanwhile, are enjoying the win while also saying this team isn't done cooking just yet. It's still early, but it's looking for the moment like Chelis could yet get the last laugh.