It's here! It's here! The real, actual, proper MLS season is here! We're taking the occasion to bring back an old feature here at B&RU as part of our weekly coverage of All Things D.C. United and Somewhat Less than All Things MLS, and that's the predictions post. Sadly, we won't be able to bring back the user polls, but you should let your soothsayer flags fly in the comments and keep score - the honor system will be in effect.
Sat. Mar. 2, 4 pm: Philadelphia Union vs. Sporting Kansas City - MLS Live
Adam: SKC. Chest: SKC. Benuski: SKC. Stephen: SKC.
MLS's top head-elbowing side should be able to grab three points on the road against the league's best exponent of the "foul rather than defend" approach to soccer. -Chest
Sat. Mar. 2, 6:30 pm: Vancouver Whitecaps vs. Toronto FC - MLS Live
Adam: Van. Chest: Van. Benuski: Van. Stephen: Van.
Kevin Payne and Queens Park Rangers head to Canada's west coast in a season-defining relegation battle. Er, that's not right, but we're still confused as to what actually is happening. Toronto FC is confused as well. Vancouver wins their home opener handily.Sat. Mar. 2, 8 pm: Houston Dynamo vs. D.C. United -Stephen
Sat. Mar. 2, 8 pm: Houston Dynamo vs. D.C. United - NBCSN
Adam: Hou. Chest: Draw. Benuski: DCU. Stephen: Draw.
For the first time ever, we're playing at Houston in weather other than 156% humidity, at noon, with temperatures somewhere in the 130-140 degree range. -Chest
Adam: FCD. Chest: FCD. Benuski: Draw. Stephen: FCD.
Hey, it's a rematch of that MLS Cup Final nobody seems to remember and featuring tactics that will look nothing like that day back whenever it was. -Adam
Adam: Sea. Chest: Sea. Benuski: Sea. Stephen: Sea.
Montreal's players will concede a goal while telling Seattle's young whippersnappers about how, in their day, you had to walk to school uphill both ways, always in the snow, and bread was a nickel. What I mean is this: The Impact have some old-ass players. -Chest
Adam: Chv. Chest: Draw. Benuski: Clb. Stephen: Draw.
El partido de fútbol termina en empate. Españoles solamente, por favor! -Esteban
Chicago fans convinced that Sean Johnson is better than Gigi Buffon and that Patrick Nyarko is a world-class winger will also jot this game down as a 2-0 Fire win, but those people are not in touch with reality. -Chest
Adam: Draw. Chest: Draw. Benuski: Draw. Stephen: Draw.
This is a matchup that epitomizes the "if you don't know any better, just pick a draw" strategy we employ early in the year. There's so much we don't know about these teams. Will Caleb Porter play any non-Akron alums? Will Mike Petke play all 11 of his right fullbacks at once? We just won't know until we see them play. -Adam
Wondo vs. a makeshift RSL back four missing their two most experienced players? Come on. -Chest